Job Loss: A Gateway to Soul Transcendence

I spoke recently with my friend Bob, who was off the radar for a long time - and for good reason.

Not unlike many people in this nation, nearly two years ago he was laid off from work as a product marketing manager. In the months that followed he's had to get rid of his car, sell off his furniture, file for bankruptcy, and see his home go into foreclosure. He has moved out of his home and is living in a modest apartment in a street-hardened part of town.

In spite of this news, I was really happy to hear how cheerful his voice was. I asked him how he has kept his spirits up this past year, here's what he told me: He's never had such a rough time in his life, but is glad that it happened. Now he knows how very little he needs to live with.

Survival

Says Bob of this change in his life, "I've got the basics: food, shelter, and a car to get around with. When I see the place I need to go to is accessible by bus, then I take that instead. Aside from that, I've got the best support group anyone could have. There are friends who can lend a hand (or a good ear) when I need them. My family is there, too. I frequently go visit with them over lunch or dinner. To help me out, we all pitch in on the goods and I cook it up! It's a fair trade-off."

Aside from collecting what little unemployment benefits he's qualified for, Bob does consulting gigs and side jobs of any kind to help get by.

Beyond Survival

In addition to basic necessities and an extended network of friends and family who cheer him on while he seeks new work, Bob points out one must keep in mind there's more to life than the mere survival dynamic. Feed your soul. He reads avidly now - at this point mostly books of a self-help nature. Faced with the prospect of having to change careers altogether, Bob also reads and researches works on industry topics about which he formerly knew nothing.

Contemplation

Bob spends a good amount of time not reading, too. On days of bad weather, he ponders his life as it is now - in silence. He has a favorite comfortable chair facing a window with an outside view. From this silent vantage point, Bob says he notices things of a more subtle nature, such as the goings-on in the neighborhood, nature, animals, the migration of birds. Simple as they are, he finds great pleasure in these things now. For better health, Bob also takes frequent walks both in his neighborhood and as a supplement to his bus rides around town.

All the while he's done a lot of soul-searching.

Blessing in Disguise

"You know, I'm really glad all of this happened. I've found that all of those numerous small things which once set me on edge now do not exist anymore. I have to laugh at myself for thinking that I once gave them any time in my life. Now that a great portion of useless self-importance has been dissolved, I actually find myself freed not only of so many physical possessions, but also of numerous internal issues which once took up the lion's share of my thoughts, feelings, and energy. While it's not been an easy ride, I'm now free in a way that I never thought possible."

A Path to Self-Improvement

When I asked him how he started on the path to self-improvement, he spoke very candidly:

"It came of its own accord after I got laid off. The timing was perfect - at first I fought the change, but eventually I realized I was ripe for it. For many of us who've been on the go their entire life, it's not easy at all. After living life at such a fast pace, the very prospect of slowing one's stride is a thought tantamount to failure. You have to get over that or it will kill you!

Formerly Fast-Paced

"After a devastating loss of pride, the biggest issue showed up almost immediately. I started to feel horribly guilty. I felt guilty at sleeping in, at not having something to do - all to sustain my previously fast-paced life.

"At first I did keep busy, which is okay in the beginning. I did some repairs on the house, printed out resumes and sent them to work prospects, went outside to attend networking meetings, made numerous phone calls, jumped through hoops, and a plethora of other forms of busy work.

"But at the end of that phase, I realized I was merely trying to transplant the culture of a fast-paced lifestyle into a slower, more deliberate lifestyle. Living life the old way just wasn't going to work. After speaking with some friends and experiencing no small amount of personal shame and discomfort, I began to truly understand what friends who had been through this before were saying. This was reflected also in what the books I was reading were saying.

The Old Life: Wrong for Two Reasons

"I realized that I had come upon an entirely new era within my personal life. To try to impose the old paradigm upon a new and unexplored territory is wrong for at least two reasons.

"Firstly, using old processes in a new territory most likely won't work. If you're used to driving a car, but suddenly find your path on land has arrived upon a beach leaving you no choice but to traverse an ocean, you realize you need a boat to continue onward. A car doesn't float on water. So, you'll have to sell it or give it in trade for a boat that will float you to your next destination, wherever that is.

"My advice? Get a simple boat, not a fancy one, but one that's sturdy and can weather the storms ahead.

Keep What's Still Useful

"This isn't to say that everything you learned in your past life is useless, but you should look at everything you did and consider whether it can help you know - or whether it needs to be thrown away.

"Yes, it's a painful process, because you identify yourself with the very things you are being commanded to throw away. In the end you'll find that you never really forget anything. It's just that those things no longer are "you". You are a separate entity that amounts to something much more than the things you have done.

"You look upon past experience in a different way, as if you were a different person back then. What you did in the past ends up benefitting you in ways you never originally intended. Those parts of your past which were shameful or truly useless - you let all that go. Patterns of reckless thoughts or deeds, old grudges - you must let them all go.

Robbing Oneself of One's Life

"Secondly, by hanging onto those old thoughts, feelings, and habits, you are really doing yourself an injustice. By letting your mind and heart remain cluttered with elements of the old paradigm, you are actually robbing yourself of your ability to experience things in life which you could have never conceived of previously. You are robbing yourself a second time by letting pass the moment, the opportunity, to see something in a new and wonderful way.

"My new life demanded self-reflection. While self-reflection no doubt is a difficult process, it results in a clearing of a lot of mental garbage. Once cleared, this empty room leaves open a space for things that once had no meaning to one's life. My new life demanded that I slow down somewhat. Slowing down, not because I was getting older, but so that I could start paying attention.

In Attendance for Your New Life

For the first time in my life, I feel like I'm actually living my life - actually checked in. Now I am both a participant and a witness to something that will never happen again once it's finished - my life.

I asked Bob what he felt the most important thing in his life was. He laughed, and answered quickly.

"One of the many things I've changed in my life after having lost so much, was to understand that I had gained the opportunity and the time to do something really good for myself - to take care of my body. Almost every day now, I walk, sometimes run. I watch the food intake, and just recently I notice my body tells me what to eat or not to eat - based upon whether I feel like eating something. That's a new thing, this intuitive eating routine.

"They say that life cannot be lived without good health. How very true."

*****

ABOUT THE AUTHOR: John Melendez is a freelance writer reporting on technology, the environment, sustainability, alternative energies and "green" issues. John Melendez is a writer for hire. To email him, go to http://www.emailmeform.com/fid.php?formid=19595