John F. Kennedy and His Unintentional Advice for a Happy Marriage

How does John F. Kennedy have relevance to a happy marriage for we the people? It's actually elegantly simple. We have all heard a famous Kennedy quote from his January 20, 1961 inaugural speech. This quote, in addition to two other quotes from the same speech, help create a recipe for a happy marriage. In an unintentional way, Kennedy was a bit of a marriage counselor.

Let me first explain that I have no expertise in marriage, have not been married very long, and forget to incorporate some of the lessons that I write about in this article. As is the case with some of my articles, my advice is very much a reminder to myself. That being said, I have found that thinking about these quotes in the context of a happy marriage have helped me keep proper perspective in my relationship.

These are Kennedy's three quotes that I think can help build the foundation for a happy marriage:

"ask not what your country can do for you -- ask what you can do for your country"

This famous quote is meant to inspire selflessness, common cause, and a sense of personal responsibility. In a happy marriage, selflessness would refer to meeting your partner's needs without being asked to do so. Ask what you can do for your spouse. Consider your spouse when you make decisions. Do the little things for your spouse that let him or her know that you care. Little things like a late-night foot rub, an inexpensive gift from a local store, or just a kind word.

I also interpret this quote as referring to a common cause and personal responsibility. A happy marriage should have a common cause. Ideally, you'd like both participants to be able to live their lives as fully, and enjoyably as possible. The personal responsibility component is that it is up to the participants in the happy marriage to work towards that goal. A happy marriage is not likely to happen by accident.

"Divided, there is little we can do -- for we dare not meet a powerful challenge at odds and split asunder."

When your marriage meets a challenge, and all marriages do, face it together. Talk through the problem, decide on a course of action, and most importantly, support each other. A happy marriage requires both husband and wife to be moving in the same direction and for the same reason.

"Let both sides explore what problems unite us instead of belaboring those problems which divide us."

This quote is related to the second, but is not quite the same. To me, this quote by Kennedy is about focusing on what we have in common, rather than what separates us. In a happy marriage, couples will tend to focus on the things that they can share and that make them happy. On the other hand, many couples continually harp on their differences and find reasons to pick fights with each other.

There are a lot of rumors about Kennedy's conduct in his marriage. But, the advice in his speech that was meant for the entire United States can easily be applied to a happy marriage as well. All you have to do is find and apply the double meanings.