John Kerry's Only Joke is a Botched Apology

Senator John Kerry's only joke is his botched apology. With a "poorly stated joke" this week in Pasadena, Kerry not only sapped momentum from his party in the final week of a competitive election, he dealt a blow to his own White House aspirations.

John Kerry reminded us this week why he lost the presidential election in 2004. He speaks as though he has a noose tied around his neck, and when advised to loosen up, his jokes were worse than flat. His complex reasoning on voting for and against a bill to finance the Iraq war was painfully embarrassing.

The senator from Massachusetts has given us this reminder at the peak of the crucial 2006 election cycle. While campaigning for fellow Democrats, his prepared remarks to California students read, "Do you know where you end up if you don't study, if you're intellectually lazy? You end up getting us stuck in a war in Iraq. Just ask President Bush."

Not a particularly witty statement, but at least passable. Mr. Kerry, however, mangled the text by saying, "You know education. If you make the most of it, you study hard, you do your homework, and you make an effort to be smart, you can do well, and if you don't you get stuck in Iraq."

Despite past failings in attempts at humor, John Kerry doesn't know when to quit

On the Bill Maher show, there was an interchange that smacked suspiciously of assassination.

Maher: "You could have went to New Hampshire and killed 2 birds with one stone."
Kerry: "I could have gone to 1600 Pennsylvania and killed the real bird with one stone."

Kerry apologizes.... With is patented non-apology

The democrat senator issued two apologies for remarks that seemed to impugn U.S. troops and abandoned his public schedule yesterday, but he denounced what he called the "campaign of smear and fear" against him as the surreal sequel to the 2004 presidential election echoed across the campaign trail.

His apology mounted to basically saying, "Sorry, that joke was aimed at the President". Despite his best efforts to clarify and show his support for our troops, members of the Democratic Party are distancing themselves from Kerry as the elections draw closer.

Whatever campaign of smear and fear Kerry feels is being used against him, it is obvious that opening his own mouth does more harm than good.

The White House reply is to remind us of Kerry's indecisive nature

Despite Kerry's sad efforts at apologizing, Bush commented, "Anybody who is in a position to serve this country ought to understand the consequences of words, and our troops deserve the full support of people in government."
Cheney also jumped into the fray, sending out advance excerpts from a speech given later in the day. "Senator Kerry said he was just making a joke and he botched it up," Cheney said. "I guess we didn't get the nuance. Actually, he was for the joke before he was against it." The childishly clever reminder that Kerry voted for the war in Iraq before he voted against it, was not lost.

If they won't accept your apology, go on the radio

Despite twice trying to explain himself yesterday. A Democratic candidate asked the senator not to campaign with him. Kerry canceled the rest of his schedule and called in to the Don Imus radio talk show, which is simulcast on MSNBC. Kerry said it is Bush who owes the nation an apology, for a botched war.

Asked why not apologize for the misunderstanding, Kerry said: "Of course I'm sorry about a botched joke. You think I love botched jokes? I mean, it's pretty stupid."

Imus reflected Democratic anxieties by asking Kerry to stop talking publicly because it might "ruin" the party's election chances.

"I love you, but just stop it," Imus said. "I'm begging you."

"Well, I think it's important to talk about Iraq," Kerry said.

"I'm begging you," Imus said.

"I hear you," Kerry said. "You do not have to beg. You're my friend. I understand what you're saying. But I'm telling you, I'm not going to let these guys lie and smear."

"Stop now, stop now," Imus said again. "I'm begging you."

"You got it," Kerry said.

Kerry's joke and apology went over like rocks on water. In the end, he issued a written apology: "I sincerely regret that my words were misinterpreted to wrongly imply anything negative about those in uniform and I personally apologize to any service member, family member or American who was offended."

No matter if this is something to take seriously or not, one thing is very clear. Senator John Kerry needs to follow Imus's advice. Shut up, just shut up. You got it, Man.