John Mayer Sues Himself for Copyright Infringment

John Mayer, who recently came out with a new single, "Who Says", has decided to sue himself for copyright infringement. Mayer noticed after he produced the song that it sounded very familiar to a song on his last album, Continuum, entitled "Stop This Train".

"When it first came out", Mayer says, "I couldn't believe my ears. I mean, at some point, when you realize you're a cultural phenomenon, you accept the fact that you will have cheap imitators trying to follow in your footsteps. But after really listening to the song, I just couldn't believe it. I mean. It's virtually the same chord progression and everything. I couldn't let myself get away with this."

Mayer went on to talk about the song in and of itself.

"It's sad what I've done with this song, too. I essentially took a relatively moving song from my last album, used almost the exact same riff, and replaced the once meaningful lyrics with a bunch of crap about getting stoned and sleeping with random women."

Mayer seemed deeply upset by this.

"I'm sad it's happened, but I'll be taking action. I used to be so awesome. I won't stand for this."

Mayer hopes to win the suit against himself, and is praying the rest of his next album is better than this single. He added one last angsty quip after this announcement....

"But really, I mean who says I can't get stoned?"

DISCLAIMER: This is not real, and John Mayer did not actually say these things. If only...