John McCain and Vicki Iseman: I'm Sure It's Nothing

I am not John McCain's biggest fan. I do think, however, that office relationships, even on Capital Hill, can be misconstrued and misinterpreted. I also urge Vicki Iseman to start "misremembering" as soon as possible so that the party can remain unified and we can get to the business of defeating Hillary Clinton in November.

The Barack Obama thing is almost played out. He's not ready for prime time, and as someone who has been plagiarized in the past, I don't think you can borrow words even from a friend in any speech without attribution. He's the emptiest of empty suits, not all that handsome, and only half black. So I don't know what all the fuss is about on the Dems' side.

I think the nation needs some one with military experience as its next leader. John McCain was right about the surge in Iraq and things have certainly calmed down in the past 10 or 12 months over there. I agree with Ann Coulter that he leaves a lot to be desired; he's just barely a conservative.

But I think Clinton might do a great deal of damage as president and somebody has to retrieve the falling dollar. No one in the government has the gumption to tell us what a disaster the U.S. Dollar's free fall has been. That is a crucially underreported story and I trust McCain to appoint people who'll come up with a solution to this problem over the next 2-3 years.

I admire Cindy McCain's stance at the Senator's press conference this morning. If she believes he wouldn't disappoint his family through infidelity, let alone the nation, we have to go with that. After all, the wife is never the last to know as most men would hope. Just ask my exes. The last to know is the dimwit, girlfriend, office-fuck-bunny. (No, I'm not bitter, Karen. All best wishes, my dear).

I have certainly known a few office vixens in my time and I've trained a few, I'm sorry to say, on the art of office seduction. It's not the sort of thing you want to pull on a smart man with something to lose. It only works with silly, sad, desperate morons. And, infidelity is unfulfilling. Young women waste their time on men who rarely leave their wives. They waste their youth and beauty; on who, for what? A fatter paycheck?

Come on young professional ladies! I wrote the book, so to speak, on getting what you want out of your male co-workers and sending them back to their wives n'kids when you're through. It's the only choice you have. It's dignified and appropriate and it's never about love. Young women deserve more. This story is about nothing.

I will say that The New York Times always, almost always, prints less than it knows. On the off chance that McCain is derailed by this, I wonder if Governor Romney can grab his delegates back? What's all this mean until the conventions this summer anyway? There's no reason a candidate can't re-enter the race. It's urgent that the next president be a Republican. Also, what's up with Mike Bloomberg? He's got a little cash I hear...