Join Your Teen on a Mission Trip

A merciless sun glared from the sky over Haiti. We sprawled under a tree beside the water jug, waiting to catch our breath before returning to work. My teenage son was still at it, pushing a wheelbarrow of wet concrete up an earthen ramp to the floor of the medical clinic we were helping to build in a small village in Haiti. Shoulder to shoulder he toiled beside men speaking a language he didn't understand, sweat pouring off his face, cheeks flushed.

Was this the same teen I could barely pry off the couch at home? The one with over-developed Playstation thumbs?

I'd had reservations about bringing him with us on a mission trip with Partners in Development in Haiti. From my experiences on past building trips, I knew how exhausting it is to carry concrete blocks and push wheelbarrows of rock and concrete with the sun blazing down on you. I wondered if a 14-year-old American teen who took a lot of creature comforts for granted could adapt to a week of hard sweaty work followed by nights in a guest house in Port-au-Prince, where water was precious and the showers were short and cold. Would he sit around and complain? Would we hear a lot of "I'm too tired" or "It's too hard"?

In Haiti, I saw a very different person in my son. I watched the heart of a man emerge as he outworked all of us, played soccer with the kids in the village, helped teach English, and stayed up late at night playing cards and joking with the adults on the team. I was really proud of him; I gained a new respect for him during that week. And when we poured that last load of concrete onto the floor of what would be a new medical clinic, I knew that a lot of work had been accomplished in the heart of my son as well.

Since that first mission trip to Haiti, we have traveled to Guatemala to work in an orphanage in the rain forest and flown to Ethiopia to partner with a local church to tell people how much God loves them. At 17, my son recently went on a mission trip to work in Brazil. He has kept in touch with people he met on his trips. The world lies open before him, and his heart has grown sensitive to the needs of others.

If you are thinking about fun in the sun with your teen, you could always do it the conventional way: go to a resort where the only poor people you see are the ones pouring your drinks, bringing your food, and turning down your bed. Oh, and the ones who stare at you over tables of colorful trinkets on the side of the road.

Our family has done that, and had a great time lying on the beach, snorkeling, enjoying that extra free pina colada during Happy Hour. It was fun...but it didn't mean anything. If you are looking for an experience that might change lives, take your teenage son or daughter on a mission trip.

Instead of an air conditioned room in a resort, you may stay in a guest house where you hope the electricity stays on long enough to run the fan in your room all night. You'll share two bathrooms with twelve people, and have to brush your teeth with bottled water because you never know what might be living in the reservoir on the roof. You'll work all day in a dusty village, pushing a wheelbarrow instead of lobbing a little ball back and forth over a net, and at night you'll discover muscles you never knew you had.

Room service? Television? Nope. This is real life. This is the way most people live every day in the real world; the life that most Americans don't ever think about. This is where we break the plastic bubble we live in and see the subsistence-level life that most of the world endures. This is where the heart of a young man or woman can be opened to a life of caring and service.

It is tempting to think, sure, I'll send my kid on a long mission trip and get him out of the house for a week or two. Don't do that. Go with him, with other adults and teens. Work beside him; include him in the adult banter, the jokes and conversations, the prayer and Bible study if you are going with a Christian group. Let go of your position of authority over him for a week and join him as a partner-the team leader can handle any disciplinary issues that may arise (and they probably won't). Share your heart and responses with him. Permit him to interact as the man he will one day become, and you will be astonished at the growth you will see.

People who have never gone on a mission or work trip will often say, "What a good thing you did." But I can let you in on a little secret: what you give is far less than what you will receive. A new appreciation for others, a new respect for your son or daughter, memories you can share, maybe even a new commitment to living a life that matters, regardless of your worldview or faith-these are the gifts that lie tucked in your heart for a lifetime.