Jon and Kate Plus Eight: Beach Trip

It's summer, and that means it's time to head to the beach! For the Gosselin family, of Jon and Kate Plus Eight fame, the beach they're headed to is on the Outer Banks of North Carolina. The family drives ten hours before arriving at their gorgeous, spacious, rented house for a two week trip full of R&R.

But wait - how much R&R can there be, with 8 children ages 7 and under? Well, things are running fairly smoothly for the Gosselins, apparently helped somewhat by Nanny Jenny, who has come to North Carolina with the family to help. Indeed, as the episode opens we see Jenny getting all of the sextuplets into their swimsuits for a visit to the beach.

Jon and Kate are hoping that the time at the beach goes well, since their last beach visit (last summer in Venice, FL) was a disaster. A strong wind turned grains of sand into tiny missiles which led to a flock of screaming children.

Before leaving the house, Jon and Kate discover that the house is so huge that it's difficult to keep track of their brood. Kate discovers that Aaden has "escaped" to the porch. She lets him into the house, chiding him that if he goes outside without asking he could get lost and he then "won't have a mommy anymore."

Jon and Kate are shown transferring a huge amount of plastic beach toys from a plastic bin into a wheelbarrow for transport to the beach. I was mystified by this; granted, our family hasn't been to the beach often, but when we went, I had each of my kids bring MAYBE two toys each. We always found the beach itself to have attractions enough. I think that it created unneccesary work to bring all that stuff ... but hey, watching the Gosselins live life their way is part of what makes this show so entertaining to me.

The family finally reaches the beach after walking from their rental house. Joel bends over, prompting a comment from Kate: "Nice plumber's crack!" Later in the show, the camera again focuses for several seconds on Joel sporting a "plumber's crack", and I squirm a bit. This seems a bit inappropriate, and definitely NOT something Joel will want to see ten years from now.

Jon shows the kids to make "drippy castles" with muddy sand. I've never heard of these, and they do look neat. While Jon interacts with the kids and runs around with them in the water, Kate hangs back standing on the beach and appears basically uncomfortable with the whole situation. "I don't prefer the sand," she opines,"but they do."

Soon Kate is nervously calling to Jon, who is cavorting in the water. He is playing with the children, but is not holding the hands of each child who is in the water. This makes Kate extremely nervous. Jon comments that Kate is so nervous about this because she can't swim, but Kate counters that she CAN, "at least to save myself."

Something I noticed on this episode was that Jon has several tattoos, particularly on his upper back and upper arm.

Soon we hear a shriek from Kate as a ghost crab scampers across the sand. She is fascinated with it, and threatens to eat its legs "when it grows up." Jon then says that this is NOT the type of crab you eat, and Kate is puzzled by this. A funny moment ensues where the crab runs furiously across the sand while "Flight of the Bumblebee" plays in the background.

We see the kids playing on the beach. Joel and Aaden begin fighting over a plastic bucket, and this does not end well. Aaden accuses Joel of having "disgusting hands!" and Joel ends up crying and rinsing his hands in water.

The family soon walks back to their house, with several of the children crying, even as Jon and Kate voice-over "They had a great time". I am noticing more and more of these contradictory messages, and it seems to me that this is the producers' way of having a joke on the Gosselins.

Next we see the Gosselins kids having swim lessons. They have 2 instructors come to the private pool at their rental house (wow, must be nice!). We learn that Mady and Cara have taken lessons for 2 summers already. Kate decides that the little kids will take lessons first, and that during their lessons, Mady and Cara must stay out of the pool. It is hot, and Mady and Cara are seen sitting around the pool looking miserable as everyone else enjoys the water.

The three little girls love the water and do well. The three boys, however, are another story. Aaden clings to the teacher and does not want to get wet. Joel is seen crying pitifully as well. Kate says that she doesn't expect miracles, but would just like to get the little kids more comfortable with the water. Thankfully, by the end of the episode all of the kids at least seem to be enjoying themselves in the pool.

The final activity of the show is painting with pudding. I know, I know ... when I heard about this, I could not believe it was something Kate would have ANYTHING to do with. After all, this is the woman who freaked out at the Crayola Factory and would not let her kids use markers. To me, it was clear that the show producers had suggested this activity just for this reason: watching Kate's response. She approached the activity with an apparently calm manner: "This is something I would not allow at my house, but what would I do if I didn't care?"

"They will enjoy it; I will not."

"Mommy doesn't like messes and we're making messes! It's messy day!" Kate makes all these remarks as she nervously goes about helping the kids get started.

After painting with the pudding, Kate plans to let the kids paint each other with body paint. However, after testing the paint on her fingers, she discovers that it doesn't wash off well and so she switches to Plan B: paint each other with leftover pudding. The kids love this, until it's time to clean up. Jon plans to wash the kids in the outdoor shower, but for some reason Kate objects to this. Jon then sprays the kids clean with the power washer, which results in a lot of crying (I can't blame them: being power-sprayed with cold water doesn't sound fun to me!).

Time to go into the house, where it's time for lunch. Kate announces that she is so glad she has brought their "regular food" from home and don't need to eat "restaurant food and garbage". This surprised me; when we are on vacation, one of my favorite parts is the break from cooking. I can see how it would be prohibitively expensive to eat out with a family of ten, though. On the menu today: mac n cheese, veggie dippers, fruit salad and puffies.

In this episode, I noticed Alexis being a bit of a pill: knocking down a block tower one of her brothers made, and then fighting with Nanny Jenny when she attempts to take away a doll that Alexis has been using as a weapon. Hopefully this is more the result of selective editing than a true picture of Alexis.

Coming up next: Gosselin Fourth of July Celebrations. Looks like a lot of cute "kid footage". Tune in Monday!