Juggling Multiple Children

When I was pregnant with my second child, my father told me that true parenting begins only when the second child arrives. I personally thought it was another one of his zen "Father Knows Best" sayings. He is after all, father of nine children who at the time of his comment ranged in age from 11-21. I am the oldest of the pack. However, I would soon realize the truth in his words.

Life with my oldest daughter was great. It was just the three of us. I wrapped my schedule around hers. But I didn't realize just how much was centered on her at the time. Her favorite types of foods influenced what we ate. Meal times were adapted according to her appetite. The types of things I bought were also greatly influenced by her.

All of these accommodations in no way harmed my husband's social life and mine. We still went to the movies, but to a late one where my daughter slept in my lap wrapped in her favorite blanket. Restaurants were also easy to navigate with one child. On errands, I could get anything accomplished by slinging my only child on my hip.

Upon the birth of my second daughter, things changed dramatically. My father was right. Parenting begins with two children. In fact, lives with more than one child made my days alone with my oldest daughter seem like a vacation. I eventually had three more children.

Now, I plan everything like a tactical coordinator, deducing how much time it would take me to get in and out of that grocery store, balanced against naptimes for those who need it, school pick-up times, and the time it takes for another to get tired of the store and throw a fit in the floor. I calculate a time of 45 minutes, plenty of time to go into the grocery store for milk and eggs.

Meals are created in similar fashion. I must balance the nutritional needs of my family against the nutritional values of the many meal possibilities available to me. This information is then compared against one child's dislike of everything but ketchup, another's boycott of any meat but anything "steak-like", the youngest child's dislike of most vegetables and my husband's meal "suggestion" for the day. My chosen meal-pot roast-is cooked and served always with the mantra "I am not a short-order cook, eat it or starve."

On the other hand, my kids still do activities, we handle schedules using a combination system of event importance and taking turns. We have outings as well. I just time them between naps and take my goody bag just in case things run long. (Goody bag is a mommy trick-bag full of snacks activities like crosswords, mad libs, cards, coloring books and anything else that is portable and guaranteed to occupy your children.)

In short, my dad was right. But, juggling multiple children does is not the end of my life. I venture out with my brood often. I just set the ground rules ahead of time, pack a bag of goodies (snacks and fun things to do), combine tasks and set off. Parenting begins when you have more than one child, but life doesn't have to end at the same time.