Jump! I'll Catch You!

Jumper: "No, it's not you. I am just not ready for any relationship."

Safety-Net: "Really? I have been hearing this now for the past couple years. It's like you keep me around as a safety-net, someone you can fall back on when something else doesn't work out, generally being a relationship YOU have said your not ready for!"

Well duh, you are the safety net! Does the jumper really deserve a second of your time?

Jumper, here is the question you need to ask yourself; "Why do I really keep this safety-net around?" Are you afraid that when you fall you will not be able to function? Or is it more? Could it be because you do have feelings deeper than you want to admit to? That those very same feelings scare you, so even though you won't commit to those feelings, you hang on to it just incase one day you decide you may truly want to explore them and evaluate your life, determining if it is truly meant to be more. Could it be that the loyalty of the safety-net has been showing you all along what it is you really needand seek. What happens if the net gets tired of carrying your burdens, being made second best during your highs and only being good enough for you when the chips are down?

When the chips are down, and the one that is always there for you is what a real relationship should be made of. So, why are you really keeping the safety net around? Is it solely because you are selfish, self-centered, uncaring of the emotional turmoil, and the wear and tear you put the net through?

And you, the Safety-Net, Why do you take this abuse? Are you tired of carrying this load yet? Why do you do it? Do you expect it to change? Are you holding on to a dream, that one day the jumper will eventually land in your net for happily ever after? Or is the jumper a safety net for you as well? Although, not in the exact same manner, but yet you know the jumper will return to you, and waiting for that moment and the time your needed is enough to fulfill you? Is it that sense of feeling needed, even though it is only random and one sided, that gives you a sense of self worth? Or is it that you think know the jumper better than the jumper knows itself, knowing that the final jump will be in your net indefinitely.

Those are just a few questions a jumper/safety net relationship should ask them self. A slew more could be addressed, like:

• SEX: the emotional connection that comes with a sexual encounter for many,
• STD's (sexually transmitted diseases): issues resulting from the jumper jumping from one relationship to another,
• TRUST: if a relationship does develop, can you trust that it will last or if the pattern will continue,
• SELF ESTEEM: both for the jumper and the net...

Is a jumper/safety net relationship a healthy one? On one side, it could be if everyone involved was in the know. Everything was upfront and open right down to the sexual encounters. Everyone involved would have to be emotionally and mentally stable enough to deal with the reality of the relationship status, knowing that the possibility of no real long lasting relationship may develop. If these things do not exist, and in my mind, I can't see how anyone would be happy or willing to agree with such a set up, then no. But if they do, then yes, I guess it could work.
However, if not, the safety net definitely needs to leave the jumper to fall flat on their face, wake up and start deciding what they are really seeking.

No more hand holding.

No more forgiveness.

No more being the safety net!

The old saying, "keep a ram in the bush" (and not in the biblical sense) is not healthy for any of the parties involved. Now if you want to pull the ram out, and put it in full view then who am I to say everyone can't get along and make it work.

Just ones humble opinion on one of the many dating trends I have witnessed.