Just a Part of Human Nature

It's usually interesting when sources which have nothing else in common somehow come to the same conclusions. This is true whether the conclusions are factual and reasonable, or whether they are not.

Such is the case with the subject of "attachment." Some sources define it in terms of "infantile or immature," "unevolved," "unenlightened," and even "not in tune with one's best interests."

Or, you can look at it from either the "Godly" angle or the "human nature" angle-- and see that both of these 'angles' are the same. Attachment, and the emotions which correspond with it, are meant to be there.

Sources which assert otherwise often do have something in common: the experience of devastating loss. As it is also human nature to dislike and want to be relieved of pain, far too many "buy into" theories and practices which seem almost custom-designed for this purpose. You have the option of detaching, or attempting to trick your mind into believing that your normal human emotions are not there, are not what they should be, or should be seen in an entirely different manner. You can call it a "religion," a "spiritual practice," or "recovery"-- but you could also more accurately call it a cop-out.

As with every decision in life, there are pay-offs and drawbacks-- everything in life comes with a price tag. If you deny, hide from, run away from, or attempt to get rid of attachments, you will relieve yourself of the responsibility of dealing with the often-difficult emotions which they contain. And, at the same time, you will also shatter your trust in your own feelings. If you are very successful with this process, you will also become less than you were meant to be.

"God grants us what we need to be fully human." Although in modern America's popular lifestyles it can sometimes be difficult to see much ironclad difference between human beings and the so-called lower forms of animals, one of the few factors that separates "man" from "beast" is the human nature of being able to feel deeply, and express fully-- as well as to form attachments based upon it.

Human beings are not designed to be emotionless robots; nor are they designed to make emotionless selection of "people and places and things." If you are "fully human," each person, place, and thing that you are truly attached to has a very significant meaning in that attachment. A wild squirrel can come to your door every day if you are in the habit of feeding it-- only humans are capable of forming attachments based on love, care, and consideration.

Normal, healthy attachments are much different from neediness; normal, healthy attachments are also much different from dependency. While unhealthy attachments signal desperation and the near-inability to exist or function without the specific person, place, or thing, healthy attachments enhance one's already-whole existence.

Fear of pain is a common reason for seeking answers or ways to avoid it-- especially in those who have already experienced pain and do not wish to repeat it again. The catch is, if you become successful at avoiding pain, you will also be robbing yourself of the full range of human emotions. You can't expect to have a life that is pain-free without sacrificing everything else, also.

The intellect is a grand thing; it is generally for the best when human beings rely the most on common sense and reason. But discounting or dismissing emotions and human attachment as a fundamental principle in what makes a person a person is not the answer. "God grants us what we need to be fully human"-- love, compassion, care, pain. As the younger generation would say: "That's life!"