Just Wondering..

Now that Charlton Heston has met his maker, can we finally take that damn rifle from his cold, dead, hands?

When the George W. Bush Presidential Library is built, will it contain an adult section?

If heaven really exists, why can't I find it on MapQuest?

If John McCain is elected President, will his senior discounts help lower the budget deficit?

Since her ass has grown to approximately the size of Rhode Island, does Kirstie Alley have to return all of the money she was paid to make those Jenny Craig commercials?

When do we officially get to call Lindsay Lohan a slut?

Wouldn't it be a wonderful bit of Karma if Rush Limbaugh were to be diagnosed with Parkinson's disease? Would anyone feel bad for him?

If Hillary wins and the Clinton's return to the White House, do you think she'll restrict the intern policy to "males only"?

Where were teachers like Debra LaFave back when I was a teenager sitting in class, gazing out the window, and fantasizing about having a teacher who looked like Debra LaFave?

Who the hell is this Miley Cyrus chick and why is she always on my TV?

If, as she claims, Paula Abdul isn't drunk or on crack, she must just be a total whack job, right?

What does the Pope wear under his robe? Is he naked? Does he wear underwear? And if so, boxers or briefs?

If man didn't evolve from apes, how do you explain Gene Simmons?

Is Dick Cheney really as big a dick as he seems to be?

Does anybody really give a rat's ass about the Kardashians? Who in his right mind would want to keep up with those dumbasses?

After they get home from work, do male porn stars ever complain about their jobs to their wives?

If those dimwits ever find Noah's Ark on Mt. Ararat, will their next endeavor involve searching for the wall from which Humpty Dumpty had his great fall?

Don't you get the feeling that Rev. Jeremiah Wright needs to cut back his caffeine intake just a tad?

If the South had won the Civil War, would grits be considered foreign cuisine? Would we need passports to vacation in Florida? Who would have been our last three presidents? And where would Republicans live?

Is this 8-year-long nightmare almost over?