Justin Timberlake: "I'm Bringing Sexy Back."

The single off Justin Timberlake's newest album, Futuresex/Lovesounds, is certainly a memorable experience. In the same way one would remember seeing one's grandmother naked: with a lot of shuddering and gagging. Unless,of course, you're a pervert, in which case you would also love Sexy Back.

"I'm bringing sexy back," says Justin, triumphantly, at the song's start. And I, for one, am immeasurably thankful to him. For too long we have been tricked into thinking that intelligence, grace, and charm are sexy. For too long People Magazine has been held in the manipulative grasps of Antonio Banderas and Nicole Kidman.

At last we have a short, skinny, pale man to liberate us from the traps of swarthiness and debonare because, after all, "them other boys don't know how to act." But Timberlake? He knows how to act and when he forgets and starts messing around, he promises "I'll let you whip me if I misbehave."

I'll be honest with you, I've never heard this song and you know what? I don't have to. Because I have in front of me a copy of the lyrics. In fact, "lyrics" does not do this poetry justice. I don't even think a word exists in the English language for wordsmithing of this caliber. It's Timberlaking. "Look at those hips. Go ahead, be gone with it. You make me smile ." Look at those hips, indeed. I'm crying right now, the imagery is so perfect.

I am just glad that he has evolved above the primitive song writing tools of melody and overall musicality because that song would simply be too rich for my mortal ears and my head might burst. From the excellence. Judging by the recording itself, even those working with Justin were so dumbfounded that he actually had to direct them when to "take 'em to the bridge," or chorus, depending on his various creative impulses. I've always admired lyricists who can create masterpieces like this out of nothing but three core ideas:

1) The singer's own superiority over his/her contemporaries.
2)The attractiveness of the subject.
3)Encouragement for to mixing of the two.

It's a simple, flawless, beautiful formula. A formula Justin Timberlake is wise enough not to tamper with.
And that's really all I can say about this. It is, apparently, the vehicle for the second coming of Sexy and should be reverenced as such. Until next time, in the words of my comrade in initials, "Get your sexy on."