Kabbalah Answers: What is Love Between a Man and a Woman?

We all know what it feels like to be 'in love'. It's incredible and can even be addictive! Sometimes we can barely eat or sleep, as thoughts of the other fill our mind incessantly. But when this obsession wears off, we are inevitably left with feelings of disappointment. Why is he not the way I want him to be? We begin to feel a lack of satisfaction, and this is the cause of so many failed relationships. So what is this thing called love and why does it seem so fleeting?

To truly understand what love is, and in order to restore it in our relationships, we must delve deeper into the spiritual roots of love. According to the wisdom of Kabbalah, 'love', as we presently experience it in our lives, is not true love. And only when we understand spiritual love between a man and a woman, will we be truly satisfied in our relationships.

According to Kabbalah, love is the only positive quality that unites all the elements of nature, including our own inner world. All of nature works according to the law of universal love. This law operates as does any organism where every cell takes care of the whole body's vital functions and health, sustains its vitality, development and its existence. Each part only works for the mutual benefit of the whole, or gives to the whole.

However, as humans today, we are unaware of this law of nature and its utmost importance for our lives and wellbeing. Instead, we are acting completely in opposition to this law of nature, and this is causing an imbalance in our relationships. As a society and in our relationships, we are consumed with feelings of 'what do I need for myself?' instead of 'what can I do for the other?'

This is human nature - absolute egoism, where everyone, knowingly or unknowingly, has the desire to use others - in sex, in a family, in a society - for their own illusory benefit. This benefit is illusory, because in the end we receive no benefit at all for ourselves, or for others. Everything we do, knowingly or unknowingly, is based on a simple egoistical calculation. However, because the laws of nature are presently concealed from us, we are not yet aware of the extent of our egoism, and the specific part that we can play in improving our relationships. Only by studying the spiritual laws of nature, can we begin to realize the harm that we are currently causing ourselves, and correct the crisis in our relationships.

Love is not based on mutual attraction and chemistry. It is based on the laws of nature and spiritual giving. It appears when two people realize their egoistic natures and start working on themselves to rise above it. Such a spiritual couple cultivates a relationship that is above egoistic desires, attractions and repulsions, habits and attitudes towards the world, and creates a union on this basis. This union is built only on mutual concessions in order to create something shared, where a male and female spiritual part are virtually merged into a single whole.

When men and women work together toward a spiritual goal, they build their connection at an entirely different level - a spiritual level. In doing so, they transcend their mundane conflicts and differences, since they have a higher goal that fills their lives with content. Couples who understand that mutual spiritual growth is the most precious gift that they can give to one another are the happiest couples. Their relationship acquires a deeper and genuine meaning, and they grow together on a path of happiness and fulfillment.

Love is a very complicated quality that should be studied. The ancient wisdom of Kabbalah reveals to us the way to achieve true and lasting love.