Karl Marx Runs Nude Through Providence

(PROVIDENCE, RI) Morning commuters were treated to a very odd series of events indeed when Karl Marx was sighted running through the streets of Providence, RI this morning. After eluding police and causing an auto accident, the German author and proponent of communism has been taken into custody for the act.

At approximately 7:35, several witnesses claimed that they saw the social thinker and father of communism jog down Dorrance Street in the nude. "At first, I thought it was some kind of a joke, you know, one of those candid camera deals. But then no one with a camera popped out and said anything, so I realized it was just a dude running naked down the street," says Marissa Manthorne of Union Street.

At least one car sustained damage in an effort to swerve around the streaking German, resulting in a fender bender and damaged fire hydrant. An onlooker called the police, and several units responded to the call. Barricades were set at the end of the street in an effort to contain Marx, but the fleet footed foe of capitalism ducked into several alleys and required subduing after a lengthy chase.

Bill Champany, manager of the Dorrance Street Dunkin Donuts, responded with this statement, "I don't know what was going on. I noticed a couple of people in the store get up and go to the window. I was naturally curious, so I opened the door and saw this really hairy guy running down the street. I've seen a lot of crazy (expletive) in my time, but I've never seen anything like this.

Marx's motive for the act of public nudity is unclear at this point, but he is being held in protective custody for several counts of disturbing the peace and indecent exposure. The thinker is best known for his collaboration with Friedrich Engels on "The Communist Manifesto" and his scathing critique "Das Kapital."