Karma-My Story: You Got that Right, Justine Timberlake!

Even if you don't believe in reincarnation (I am neither a skeptic nor a believer), Karma exists. You get what you deserve in this life time.You help people, you be kind and gentle and make people laugh,and Most of them treat you the same way. You dis people too often, and don't expect them to be super-kind to you.

I believe that Karma exists especially, after a bad marriage that I had to quit. After 3 years of constant misery and being physically abused, I quit. No more, no more of this.

So I ask myself, did I deserve all that physical abuse and pain? I am not sure, but I do believe in Karma. So I seek for an explanation. I realize that I had rejected a few fellas in my time. I was upfront to them, as I am an honest person and don't play games. But it must have hurt them. May be I deserved a part of the pain I had to withstand. But I do know one thing, I still respect my ex-husband. We keep in touch through emails, like good friends. It took me a while to get this way- a year actually. But I have grown into a better human being (Or so I believe).

So this has been my life journey-

A young girl who had the best childhood. She was pampered by her sister and parents. A bit of an introvert. Extremely good at academics, thanks to her parents who supported her every step of the way. Yet, very shy and was always afraid.

A teen who slowly came out of the shell and blossomed. She stepped into the corporate environment, as a young lady.

A woman who took on a life she wanted to, doing very well at her job. Gaining awards from Cisco Inc. (Corporate) and Home depot (Corporate). In parallel, facing her biggest life struggle- her marriage. She did not want to leave her husband. She had chosen him and felt guilty that she would hurt the families involved.

A suicidal, depressed woman, who wanted to end it all. She was on the brink of going to the other world. She had already death with way too many panic attacks for a 23-24 year old! She would go into the office bathroom and cry. Except for one colleague who had seen her cheek bleed, no one knew what was going on in her personal life.

A hopeful woman, as a kind-hearted psychotherapist and 2 counselors helped her. She is blessed with a family that supported her. She asked them for help and they gave it to her.

Today, exactly a year later-

I am a woman on anti-depressants. Happy to be alive and trying to spread cheer.

Karma exists. It is my time to make people smile. In this 1 year of mess that I have been through, I discovered how wonderful writing made me feel and got back to it. I have tried my best to help- a few alcoholics; drug-users; a middle-aged widower who has 2 kids; and a bisexual teen trying to cope with life and pain. Now I am trying to help my fellow writers and I hope I make them smile.

I am not a saint nor do I want you to pity me.I share this story with one purpose. There is no shame in asking for help, when you are at the brink of a melt down. Smile when you read this and realize that I did it and so can you!

I now live by 'hate the sin, not the sinner'. Even on Triond I have had arguments with 2 people. But I apologize at the end. I know they will feel better and that is all I want. No grudges, life is too short.

I am going to get off my anti-depressants in about a month's time. I hope you still see the same Rox as you do now. LOL

Forget the ranchey part of this song (if you want to), but the lyrics mean a lot to me. And JT is hot.LOL

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HMvDRx7H0iI