Kathy Ireland Taught the 82nd Academy Awards Fear and Other Oscar Shenanigans

Did you watch the Oscars because I hardly did? In between Episodes from Blossom Season 2 (Which are not in order, thank you Shout!) I watched the 2010 Oscars. Watch is too strong a word to describe what I did in relation to The 82nd Academy Awards. Is there a word for 'had my eyes directed at?' In any case it was bad and boring. Here are the thoughts that still stick out in my mind in the sober light of day.

Red Carpet

Red carpet was annoying and Kathy Ireland (the woman of my dreams since I started dreaming about women) was a dreaded snake woman. She looked like a Medusa.

Twilight Kids Invoke Shenanigans

The Twilight kids presented (girl and shirtless) solute to horror movies most. Then they had the outright gall to include a clip from Twilight in this horror film tribute.Woah ho ho, nice try, but no dice.

Open Musical Number by NPH

The opening song by Neil Patrick Harris was very entertaining, but left me wondering why, "Nobody likes to do it alone," was in fact preformed alone? Why does NPH have to do it alone?

Let the Halfhearted Clapping Begin!

Clooney looked bored as hell the entire time. Everything I cared about lost in the category I cared about.

10 Short Films about 10 Long Films

Why do I have to watch a video every 10 minutes about one of the films nominated for Best Picture? Shouldn't we really only be focusing on the winner? I say that only the winner get's their films shown and you can watch the rest of that crap online.

End

I'm waiting for them to finally stop stalling and get to the winner for best picture. It's maybe 11:40 something. After some more stalling from the hosts I wake up at 1 am in the dark. I missed best picture and went upstairs to my bed.

Finally I go to view all the winners on the Oscar.com and guess what is at the very bottom? Both writing awards! Are you kidding me they go below "Visual Effects" and "Sound Mixing?" Just awful.