A new relationship is always filled with eXcitement, good seX and passion! The kind of intense passion that makes your hear race and gives you butterflies whenever you see that special person. During this initial phase of the relationship, you find yourself going out of your way to make a good impression and WOW your Beloved with affection. However, after only a few short but blissful months into the relationship things begin to settle and all of a sudden the chase is over, the thrill is gone and you find yourself settling into a less than passionate relationship. And now that once amazing relationship has become dull and lifeless. What happened?! How did you lose the spark? No matter the culprit of the fire extinguisher, the great news is that it doesn't have to lose the spark, but if it does you can rekindle the flame!
Here are 12 surefire ways to keep the passion burning in your relationship!
- Don't stop dating. Although you are married or in a long-term committed relationship, you don't have to stop dating! Set aside time each month for you and your Beloved to go out on a date like you use to. It doesn't have to be an expensive date, a movie, dinner or nice long walk in the park, with your sweetie, will do. Make Date Night a priority! Put the date on your calendar and be sure to keep it, even if it means rearranging your schedule or getting a sitter for the kids.
- Wear more lingerie. Contrary to popular belief, husbands and boyfriends still enjoy and appreciate seeing their mates in sexy lingerie. Instead of frumpy old pajamas, try wearing a silky grown that grabs your body in all the right places, a girlie boy short set, or even his t-shirt to bed. Also wearing matching bra and panties will not only turn him on but it will make you feel good! Donning a nice piece of lingerie under your ever so conservative business suit will make you feel powerful, feminine and sexy. At the end of the work day, surprise your lover with a strip tease giving a whole new meaning to the phrase "working woman."
- Go out of your way and do something special. Show your appreciation for your Beloved by treating him to something special every now and then. Pick up his favorite snack on the way home. Purchase a special item or a ticket to his favorite sporting event, or something that he normally wouldn't purchase for himself. Men appreciate a woman that knows how and takes the time to show appreciation and respect for her man.
- Take care of yourself. Keeping yourself up and maintaining your look is very important! Don't let yourself go after you get the man! It's not enough to look the part before the relationship. It's just as important if not more so to take care of yourself during the relationship. A man appreciates and respects a woman who takes care of herself. It is a direct reflection of not only how she feels about herself. While physical appearance is certainly not the only thing in a relationship, it is still a very important aspect. Care enough about yourself to maintain your physical attributes by taking preventive health measures, eating right, eXercising, drinking plenty of water and getting enough rest. Also keeping your body clean is essential. Pay special attention to your Mound of Venus (vaginal area) Proper grooming is a must! Wear clothes that are flattering for your body type. Make-up is nice but it isn't a must. However if you chose to wear make-up be sure to wear colors that compliment your complexion. Self love is the most important Love. If you can not Love and take care of yourself, then you can not Love and take care of anyone else period!
- Keep a positive attitude. "As a man thinketh, so is he." No one wants to be around a person who is negative and complains all the time. It is very unpleasant and can become very draining on one's spirit. Keeping a positive attitude is the key to happiness! We draw experiences to us based on our patterns of thought. By maintaining a positive outlook you are more likely to create an atmosphere of peace. Additionally, you will be prepared to handle challenges that may come your way.
- Communicate, communicate, communicate! Getting upset and shutting down is not the answer! Don't stop communicating your wants and needs no matter how difficult it may be. Men are not mind readers. You can't expect to have your want and/or needs met without communicating them to your beloved. Not communicating surely sets your beloved up for failure, you for misery and eventually will become the demise of your relationship.
- Cook for your Beloved. As the old adage says...the way to a man's heart is through his belly. Every man appreciates a good home cooked meal every now and then. If cooking is not your forte, try taking a cooking class. Perhaps even taking a cooking class together can increase the intimacy and quality time between you and your Beloved. Most importantly he will appreciate the thought and thank you for putting forth the effort on his behalf.
- Variety in the bedroom. Every man loves a "bad girl!" Spice it up! Don't be afraid to try new things with you lover. The same old sex positions can become boring and monotonous. Try using a variety of sex positions. Pick up a book on Kama Sutra on Tantric Sex to increase intimacy, spirituality and sexuality. Also, incorporate the use of sex toys into your love making. Make a fun day trip out of it! Visit a sex toy store together and purchase a fun new toy or how-to book, rent a sexy adult movie, go to a strip club and end your evening with a passionate night of lovemaking! Still not sure what to do or still have questions? Take a sexy education class or workshop. Check out Beautifully Me, llc at www.beautifully-me.com or enlist the help of a qualified sex coach. Visit Sexpertly Yours, TaMara at www.yoursexpert.com.
- Stroke his ego. ...literally and figuratively! Every man loves to be told how wonderful his is. It's important for him to feel wanted and needed by his woman. The phrase "Gotta let a man be a man." is true. Find things that you love about your man and compliment him on it. Leave little love notes in his car, brief case or on the bathroom mirror. Although we are strong, independent women, allow yourself to be vulnerable. It's ok every now and then to just become the "damsel in distress" and let him know that you need him. Also pay very special attention to your Beloved's manhood (i.e. penis). Make love to his penis with your mouth. Kiss, stroke and play with it on a regular basis. And no ladies, it doesn't have to be a special occasion! As a matter of fact, out the blue is even better! Trust me; he will definitely appreciate you for it!
- Start things as you mean for them to go. In other words, start your relationship off the way you intend to keep it going. We all start off new relationships by putting our best foot forward in an effort to attract, impress and keep the object of our desire. However, somewhere along the way those things we did in the beginning of the relationship somehow manage to fall by the wayside as we become settled. No one likes the old bait and switch, if you start off the relationship by dressing a certain way or doing certain things, then it is those same things that you need to continue throughout the relationship to help maintain. This helps to provide level of comfort and consistency. Not to mention it shows your Beloved that you care enough to give him the best of you at all times.
- Don't lose yourself in him. It is important o maintain a separate identity from your man and your relationship. A sexy confident woman is a turn on for a man; a woman who knows who she is and doesn't need him to define her. While it is important to have a mate, it is as equally important to maintain a sense of self and a certain level of independence within the relationship. A man needs to know that his woman has his back and that he can trust his woman to make certain decisions that will not be a determent to the relationship, her or his manhood. Never become predictable! Maintain your mystique, keep him guessing and you'll keep him for life.
- Don't be overbearing, be supportive. Don't become his mother! He already has one, he doesn't need another. One of your roles as loving mate is to be supportive and encouraging without being controlling. Men want a woman who is going to allow him to make his own decisions. Practice the art of listening. Men want to be heard more than they want advice. Learning the fine line between support and giving too much unwarranted and unwanted advice is important. Men need to learn on their own, without an "I told you so" from his woman. Even IF you already know, allow him the space to find out on his own. However, the exception lies in only if it is detrimental to himself, you or the relationship. If you find this to be the case, then guide him ever so gently to the most appropriate solution.
Published by TaMara Campbell
TaMara has more than 18 years experience of coaching, speaking, writing and teaching about human sexuality and intimate relationships so there's very little that she hasn't heard about sex. She also has exte... View profile
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1 Comments
Post a CommentTaMara,
great articles! Good work ;)