Keeping Your Kids and Yourself Safe When a Sex Offender Moves Next Door

Today, it's not hard to find out whether the nice new man in the apartment next door is a sex offender - just log on, go to web sites like findsexoffenders.org, and do a search on his name. Simple.

What's harder is knowing exactly what you can do when you find out George Smith (picture included on sex offender site) is a child sex offender. Even if he committed violent crimes against small children, the law says that when he's out of prison, he's out. As long as he is properly listed on the sex offender registry, abides by the terms of his parole, and does not break local laws like being too close to schools and daycare centers, he can live, work, and hang out wherever he likes.

1. First, find out exactly what the offender did; it's a matter of public record. Some sex offenders are relatively innocuous - the current case in Georgia with the 15-year-old who had oral sex with his 14-year-old girlfriend, for instance, involves a young sex offender who hasn't done anything different from millions of other randy teenagers. Other sex offenders may actually be worth worrying about.

2. Talk to the offender - politely - to let them know you are aware of their status and that you will be watching them. If you find out that the sex offense committed was, indeed, something that you are concerned about, have a little talk with the offender. You don't have to say a lot - just let him know that you are aware of what he did and that you want him to stay away from your children. Chances are, you'll get a slammed door. That's not a problem. For your own safety, do everything you can to videotape this discussion so the offender cannot accuse you of harassment.

3. Talk to your kids. Tell them as much as you think is appropriate for them to know - but emphasize that they are not to be around George Smith because he did some bad things once to children and might do them again.

4. Let local authorities know: police, neighborhood watch officers, landlords, walking-distance businesses and churches, even mailmen. All these people are in a unique position to observe the sex offender you're concerned about. Talk to the police first and let them know what you're going to do; they may advise you not to do certain things, or to allow them to have these discussions for you. This is not a 911 situation; you should go into the station, or call the police station and ask them to have a regular neighborhood officer in your area stop by to talk to you for a few minutes. When informing anyone else of the sex offender, print out copies of the online information (including picture) and let them know the offender's new location and place of employment, if you know it. More than this can be termed harassment.

5. If the offense was particularly heinous, let the landlord who may be renting to this offender, as well as your own landlord, know about the issue and that you are not happy about this. If they are aware, and it's documented that they are aware, they are at civil risk if anything happens again. The landlord may take things into his or her own hands at this point.

6. Make sure the offender is within his or her legal restrictions, i.e., an appropriate distance from schools and parks, etc. Ask your friendly local police officer to do this for you; they are more aware of the laws and they don't want you to be at risk either. If the offender is too close to a restricted area, he is required by law to move.

7. Report any suspicious behavior you or your kids happen to see, especially involving children. Contact the same officer you've been working with in the earlier steps; he or she will be aware of your concerns and may have other information you need to know.

Do NOT:

React in an overly negative manner. Be polite to the offender, and never cross the line into rudeness, let alone violent or destructive behavior. The sex offender is a citizen, just like you, and is protected by the same laws that protect you and your family. Any criminal acts you perform, even a threat, can get you put in jail - and that does no one any good.

Allow your emotions to dictate your actions. Whether your reaction is anger or terror, you absolutely must keep your head about you when dealing with this situation. If you have problems with this, do not approach the offender yourself; have a police officer or neighborhood watch person do this for you.

Take the law into your own hands, in any fashion. This puts you at great legal risk. In this case, you are working with the law, not as the law. Remember that.

Become a hermit for fear of this offender, or let fear overly restrict your children's freedom. You have every right to let your children play outside without fear; to allow them to visit their friends freely; to let them walk home from school. This is one of those cases where your freedom as an American clashes with someone else's freedom. Unless the sex offender has a known violent past, warning your children and alerting the neighborhood should be adequate protection for your family. For violent offenders, talk to your local police about what steps you should take to protect your family.