Keeping the Marriage Alive After Twins

It can be difficult to be romantic with your spouse after having one baby, but what about two? Double the diapers, double the screaming and double the amount of time you need to spend with the new bundles of joy. Keeping the marriage alive after twins can be a challenge for even the most loving of couples, especially if one of you is staying home with the babies while the other goes to work full-time. The important thing to remember is that you are still individuals and not just parents.

Keeping the Marriage Alive After Twins: Offer Encouragement

One of the ways in which a married couple can support one another after twins is to provide lots of encouragement. It can be difficult to juggle two babies in addition to a job and household chores -- forget seeing friends -- so remind each other how well you're doing and how much you appreciate one another. Each of you brings something to the table when it comes to taking care of the twins, so take time to acknowledge those gifts on a daily basis.

Keeping the Marriage Alive After Twins: Provide Feedback

Take time at the end of every day to discuss everything that went on and how you can do better in the future. Parenting, especially when it comes to twins, is about learning lessons and improving upon your techniques. If you had a problem with getting one of the twins to sleep, tell your spouse and talk about how you can make it easier next time. The same goes for work, if one or both of you has a job. Talk about what happened at work and where your career is headed. Don't make it all about parenting.

Keeping the Marriage Alive After Twins: Praise One Another

When we get busy with our hectic lives, we often forget to offer praise to our spouse. This is important, especially for the one who is spending the most time with the kids. Whenever your spouse makes a breakthrough or discovers a new trick, praise that knowledge and let your spouse know how proud you are. This is essential to making sure that you each feel wanted, loved and appreciated. Believe me, even the smallest of feats can be a revelation.

Keeping the Marriage Alive After Twins: Get a Babysitter

The first time you leave the twins alone with someone else can be painful, but you need to spend time alone with your spouse. If it makes you feel better, hire two babysitters to make sure all of your bases are covered and try not to think about what might be happening at home when you're on your "date". After you've hired babysitters for a few evenings, consider hiring one for all night so that you and your spouse can spend a romantic night at a hotel, just the two of you.

Keeping the Marriage Alive After Twins: Ignore the Small Stuff

Laundry will pile up, chores will be forgotten, the house will be a mess and you'll still survive. Don't get angry with each other over the small stuff; it'll only serve to pull you apart. Instead, offer to help when your spouse seems to be falling behind and put in the extra effort. If you get irritated, talk a walk to cool down or play with the twins to remind you how much your life has changed -- for the better.