Keeping the Romance Alive with Your Partner... And Ulcerative Colitis

My wife and I share just about everything - though sometimes that can put a damper on the romance in our lives. We're still just as in love with one another as we were 10 years ago, and we try to maintain open lines of communication, but when it comes to discussing the nitty-gritty details of my ulcerative colitis, romance can easily come to a screeching halt.

For example, it is relatively difficult (I would imagine) for a woman to maintain any attraction for a man who spends a great deal of his time in the bathroom. Although my ulcerative colitis symptoms are decreasing in frequency since I changed my medication three months ago, I still go through flare-ups like clockwork every two weeks or so. This means that my wife and I have to put my UC out of our minds in order to maintain a healthy relationship.

So how can you and your partner keep the romance alive when one of you is suffering from UC?

1- Use a Different Bathroom

Most people live in a home where the master bathroom is connected to the master suite, which can definitely kill the romance. If you have ulcerative colitis, use a restroom on the other side of the house, far away from the marital bed, and try not to discuss the length of time you spent in the bathroom or the pain you were experiencing. This allows a separation between your life with your partner and your experience with UC.

2- Take Advantage of Remissions

When you're going through an ulcerative colitis flare-up, the last thing you want to do is plan a romantic candlelight dinner or, God forbid, have sex. So, when the flare-up begins to ease and you enter a state of remission, take advantage of the time you have before the next flare-up hits. Go out to eat, cuddle on the couch, take walks in the park, and enjoy time in the bedroom.

3- Plan Meals Together

Romance isn't all about the flowers, candy or kissing; you can enjoy your partner by spending more time together in the kitchen. Since your ulcerative colitis requires that you maintain strict control over your diet, work together on finding new recipes that the whole family will enjoy. Even better? Prepare those meals as a team, rather than splitting up the chores. It will give you an opportunity to connect despite UC.

4- Surprise Your Partner

One of the side effects of ulcerative colitis symptoms is irritability, which might mean you get snippy with your partner when a flare-up strikes. Soften the edge of your frustration by celebrating remission with a surprise gift, or perhaps a vacation for just the two of you. This shows your partner that you really care, and that your irritability is caused by the disease, and not your partner.