Ketchup Bottles

Did you ever think about ketchup bottles? Or, alternatively, catsup bottles? Maybe not! But you've probably held one pretty often. Well, I've been thinking about ketchup bottles.

First, there's the shape. OK, nowadays, ketchup bottles come in all sorts of shapes. There are ketchup bottles with wide mouths, ketchup bottles that you squeeze, and even ketchup bottles that you are supposed to store on their lids! But standard ketchup bottle is tall and narrow, and gets narrower at the top.

There is one big problem with this shape of ketchup bottle: The ketchup does not come out!

Think about it! If you're washing your hair, do you have to bang on the shampoo bottle to get it out? No, you do not. If you want some mustard on your hot dog, do you have to stick a knife into the mustard bottle to get it to start flowing? Of course not. Tons of things come in bottles. Most things come OUT of the bottles they are in fairly easily. Not ketchup. It's in there.

One company, a while back, even made an ad pretending this was an advantage! It had the song "Anticipation" and showed a guy putting a ketchup bottle in his window, then running downstairs with his hot dog, standing outside his window waiting for the ketchup to come out of the bottle! Really! The point of this ad seems to be "It will take you a LOOOOOONG time to get our ketchup. So you should buy some." (Also, ketchup does NOT go on hot dogs. MUSTARD on hot dogs, KETCHUP on hamburgers and french fries). (Well, really, good french fries taste good with almost any sauce, but ketchup is the king).

So that's one weird thing about ketchup bottles. The ketchup doesn't come out.

The other weird thing about ketchup bottles is that, in restaurants, they are always full! Always! Sit down when the place opens, you get a full ketchup bottle. Eat at end of shift and .... full ketchup bottle! Amazing! But this one has a simple solution: The staff of the restaurant refills the ketchup bottles a lot. Don't blame them, someone told them to do it. But ... here's what I am wondering: What about the ketchup at the BOTTOM of the ketchup bottle? How long has it been there?

Still, I'll keep using ketchup, and it will keep coming out of bottles. Slowly. From the top.