Keys to Life: Key #2 - Age Gracefully

A little over two years ago I penned an article called Keys to Life. The piece was an adaptation of an essay by author Michael Thomas Ford from his book of collected essays called "My Big Fat Queer Life." In the essay, "Ten Keys to Being Happy Though Gay", he spells out ten tidbits of advice on things gay people should do in order to be happy. I felt strongly enough about his list that I adapted it so that we all could gain some insight into that ever-present pursuit of happiness.

The ideas set forth in his essay inspired me to create my own list of ideals to strive for in pursuit of a happier life. Some of Ford's keys made a lot of sense to me, but not all of them. I kept some of them the same and changed others to fit life as I see it. Remember that these are ideals. They're not easy to achieve, but they're all worthy of aspiring to.

I've long since wanted to revisit these "keys to life" in the hopes of keeping them at the forefront of my own mind and to share them as valuable information for anyone to have. For the next several weeks I'll be doing just that, only this time I'm going to be taking a look each of the ten keys individually. In this piece, we'll take a look at the second key to life: age gracefully. Here's what I wrote on this back in November of 2008:

Key to Life #2 - Age Gracefully

Aging is inevitable. The older you get, the faster time goes. That's not a good thing, but you've got to handle it with grace and dignity. There's little that's more pathetic than a forty or fifty-something person who presents him or herself as a twenty-something year old. We've all seen them, refusing to yield to their declining years.

Mother Nature's not too kind to us as our bodies mature. Gravity takes over. Hair disappears where we'd like it and sprouts where we don't want it. The poundage becomes harder and harder to keep off, much less take off. There's nothing wrong with doing what we can to minimize the physical aspect of our aging, but dressing and acting like someone from a different, younger generation is just absurd. Take care of yourself, live your life, but act your age!

Age is a funny thing. When you're young, you can't wait to get older and once you hit a certain age, you want to stop counting birthdays. No one is immune from aging. As the clock ticks by and the years roll on like there's no tomorrow, we should appreciate the age we're at and live as such. Putting it this way, this one goes hand in hand with the first key of life, living in the present.

One of the reasons Ford included this one in his book is because he is a gay man, and looking young and beautiful is a prevalent value in gay culture. Being a single gay man in my forties, I can certainly attest to that fact, but aging gracefully should not only be a key in a gay man's life. Everybody is guilty to some degree in trying to stop Mother Nature from doing her work on us, and so this one works for everyone.

Our Bodies

Yes, Father Time is not too kind to us as we age, and in order to minimize the effects of aging too quickly, we must take care of ourselves. Eating right, exercising, and taking care of our bodies with regular doctor's visits should do the trick.

Far too many people resort to the plastic surgeon to stave off the effects of aging. I'm a believer that God made us as we are and unless there's a glaring problem with some part of our body, we need to let it go. Besides, have you seen some of those celebrities who've made a habit out of resorting to the surgeon's knife a little too often? People like Joan Rivers, Michael Jackson, and Cher have all been known to resort to cosmetic surgery to fix whatever they think is wrong with themselves. In the end, it always looks fake and sometimes even scarier than before. It's a good thing that cosmetic surgery is expensive and not usually covered by medical insurance; otherwise even more people would make the mistake.

Our Hair

Of course, hair is always an issue as one ages, especially for men. As we age, we lose hair where we want it and get hair where we don't want it. Of course, both issues need to be addressed. First of all, the hair that we don't want: for some it's in the nose and for others it's in the ears, and for the really unlucky ones, it's both can and should be addressed regularly. If you're a man who's finding unwanted hairs coming out of either place, take care of them! Don't think for a minute that people don't notice that stray hair poking out of your right nostril or that bush just outside your ear. There are plenty of tools out there to help with that, and it's totally painless.

As for thinning hair, some of us were just born to lose hair where we'd most like to have it. Though there is a plethora of so called remedies for this, the plain and simple fact is that there is no magic pill to wipe out hair loss. Those of us who have thinning hair should just accept that fact and act appropriately. Does anyone really believe that no one notices the ridiculous looking toupee on that head? Or the always preposterous 'comb over?' As the hair fades, men should get it cut appropriately for the amount of hair loss they've experienced, and if it all goes eventually, let it. There are plenty of people out there who like bald men. Embrace it and you'll do just fine.

Our Clothes

Michael Thomas Ford says "If you're over 30 and wearing anything that says Abercrombie and Fitch on it, it's time to reassess your priorities." One of the best ways to age gracefully is to dress appropriately for your age. It just doesn't look right if I, a forty-something guy, goes around wearing oversized hip-hop attire. Department stores have separate departments for young men and men. Shop in the right one and you'll do alright. The same goes for piercings. I'm sorry, but a 50-something year old dude with an earring just looks silly.

What We Do

I admit, I'm guilty of this one. As a forty-something gay man, I spend way too much time in nightclubs. I have good friends my age who prefer to do more age-appropriate things like renting a movie or spending evenings at home, and that's fine. I like to think that going out dancing helps to keep me young and fit, but I really do so because I truly love to dance. However, if I'm going to follow this advice I'm sharing, I need to slow it down a bit, but that's another story for another time!

Of course there are many activities that we all do that are more appropriate for other age brackets, like playing video games or going roller skating. It's okay to do some of these things once in awhile, but to make habits of them is just silly, especially if you're only doing them to act younger than you really are.

Not long ago, I mentioned to a young person I know that I was having dinner with an old friend. He asked me, not really meaning to be rude, "Is that what older people do when they get together?" "Yeah," I told him. "That's what we do!"

All in all, aging doesn't have to be a problem as long as we don't let it bother us. I know, it's easier said than done, but we all have to accept that it's an inevitable thing and that all we can do is the little things that don't make us look like we're trying to be something we're not.

Stay tuned for the next installment of Keys to Life. For more on this series, please see the following:

Keys to Life

Keys to Life: Key #1 - Live in the Present