Keys to Life: Key #9 - Be Honest

A little over two years ago I penned an article called Keys to Life. The piece was an adaptation of an essay by author Michael Thomas Ford from his book of collected essays called "My Big Fat Queer Life." In the essay, "Ten Keys to Being Happy Though Gay", he spells out ten tidbits of advice on things gay people should do in order to be happy. I felt strongly enough about his list that I adapted it so that we all could gain some insight into that ever-present pursuit of happiness.

The ideas set forth in his essay inspired me to create my own list of ideals to strive for in pursuit of a happier life. Some of Ford's keys made a lot of sense to me, but not all of them. I kept some of them the same and changed others to fit life as I see it. Remember that these are ideals. They're not easy to achieve, but they're all worthy of aspiring to.

I've long since wanted to revisit these "keys to life" in the hopes of keeping them at the forefront of my own mind and to share them as valuable information for anyone to have. For the past several weeks I've been doing just that, only this time I've been taking a look each of the ten keys individually. In this piece, we'll take a look at the 9^th key to life: be honest. Here's what I wrote on this back in November of 2008:

I can never figure out why people lie, especially when the truth is so much easier to tell. It takes only a moment to tell the truth, while telling a lie takes forever. Lies expand, branch out, layer upon layer, eventually coming to a point where the lie becomes the truth to the person telling it. Lies come in all shapes and sizes. There are some who believe a lie is a lie, and that's it. I'm not suggesting that all untruths are the same. To the contrary, some lies are necessary and harmless. Others are mean and hurtful. These are the kinds that I advise against. Make a conscious effort to be honest and upfront. You'll never have to cover up a lie again. Wouldn't that be a wonderful thing?

Two years after writing these words I still feel the same way. I hate lies, yet they're all around me. As a teacher, I'm confronted with them on a daily basis, but at least with my students I almost always have a measuring stick to tell when my students lie to me. You see, 99% of the time when they tell me a lie, like they lost their homework or they really studied for their exam, they smile. It's a unique grin that only comes with an untruth and they all know that they can't lie to me. Maybe it's because they're young and innocent and they haven't learned how to lie without conscience. I think people who lie with a straight face are the ones to really watch out for.

One of my very first articles on this network was about lying. Thoughts on Lying was an examination of why people lie, and just like I said in my original Keys to Life piece, lying takes more work than telling the truth and I can't for the life of me figure out why so many people do it. Lies are everywhere: in the workplace, at home, amongst friends, and in public. Imagine if no one lied, especially politicians and those in other roles of power? How wonderful would that be?

I guess lies are told because we feel that the truth will hurt the ones who hear it. When a lover says, "It's not me, it's you," they're doing it to avoid the painful truth to the one they're breaking up with. When a politician says he's not going to raise taxes even though he knows darn well that he needs to, he's lying to '˜save us' from the ugly truth (and of course to get elected). Sometimes the truth does hurt, but isn't it better to get on with it than to go along in confusion and eventual anger?

There's so much that can be said about lying. It's an ugly and all too common fact of life. We can't control what others say to us, only the things we say ourselves. So in this life, make things a little easier on yourself and keep the telling of untruths to an absolute minimum. Your conscience will always be clear and you will never have to continue the lie by layering new ones on top of it. Yes, sometimes lies are necessary, but more often than not, a lie brings nothing but trouble.

For more in this series, check out:

Keys to Life

Keys to Life: Key #1 '" Live in the Present

Keys to Life: Key #2 '" Age Gracefully

Keys to Life#3 '" Cultivate Friendships

Keys to Life#4 '" Make a Difference

Keys to Life#5 '" Take Chances

Keys to Life#6 '" Take Care of Yourself

Keys to Life#7 '" Stop Blaming Everyone Else

Keys to Life#8 '" Expect Bliss