Keys to Success on Valentine's Day for Men and Women

Let's face it, love requires work. It can be grand, it can be forever, but only if the both of you want it to be. Valentine's Day is Coming. Time for appreciating your better half. The way I see it, there's four types of relationships out there and first you must decide where you rank. Then, read my advice and share this article with others. Have a wonderful and happy Valentine's Day.

1) The "Going Through the Motions" Couple

DESCRIPTION: Sad but true. These relationships are caught somewhere in the grand scheme of things. Busy wife, busy husband, kids amuck, little time to appreciate and love each other. These relationships are lost somewhere in the moments of the day. Valentine's Day is a quick grab of a card and candy at the local store, with little thought about your partner.

IF THIS IS YOU: STOP, LOOK, and LISTEN. It's you that I'm writing to. It is you that must pay attention. This Valentine's Day, do something a bit differently. Take time to appreciate your partner. Remember how you first met, your first words, and what made you fall in love. Think on this for at least ten minutes, and a smile should come to your face. You really need to spice up your Valentine's Day on a more communicative level; so that someday you'll be like Gramps and Granny celebrating the 50th.

MEN: PLAY BY PLAY. Commit complete and utter effort on Valentine's Day. Think of it as a football game, and you must win. First Quarter: Stop and get that special gift on the way home. On your first date you bought her a teddy bear, so, run to the nearest Super-Duper-Mart and get her another. Take her back to that first date and the feelings that you had. Get a card that says what you feel, and please, take the time to read them. Sometimes the best cards are blank, and what you write inside is what really counts. Your goal: By halftime you will have touched her on a personal level, that's what she craves. Remind her how much you love her, and of of the time when....bring up some old stories to make you laugh. Second Quarter: Have plans in advance, of a someone to watch the kids and make reservations at a nice little restaurant. I know you're pooped after a long day's work, (who isn't?) but leave early today. Give her one day that she'll appreciate (and maybe she will stop complaining so much and start giving you some more loving! ) What a great trade! Interception: If you get home and she really doesn't want to go out, hopefully she'll take my advice and have some quiet time planned. Third Quarter: Change those work clothes, shave and shower as if it's your first date with Mrs. America. Put that delicious smelling musk on that she loves and tonight, forget all your quarrels. It may just be the first day to a better relationship. Tonight, a kiss when you see her, is key. During the Fourth Quarter, if you still have the ball, it's time to go for the TOUCHDOWN.

LADIES:SHOP TIL YOU DROP. Treat this like a shopping spree. Plan the shopping route: See if he's willing to have a date on the town, if so have the kids already at the sitters and your shower and hair done when he gets home. Sale Day: If your man isn't a big "night on the town guy", have plans ahead of time to take the kids to a sitter and plan a special dinner. It doesn't have to be a lot of work, the goal here is less stress. Shop Wisely: Order carry out and break out the fine china. Dim the lights. It's not about the food tonight, it's the ambiance. Get rid of the sweats, and lose the attitude. ( I know he's not perfect but he may be perfect for you with a little work and understanding on both parts. Perhaps all the complaining and moaning just aren't going to get him to change. So try something different , this new approach. It was all peaches and cream in the beginning and so it can be again. ) Jump to the Front of the Line: Make him look at you like he did the first time he saw you. Fix your hair and face, and dabble the perfume that first turned his head --wear something you haven't in years. Go ahead, be gutsy. If you emit that confidence, and make an effort, he will appreciate it. Checkout: Tonight, a kiss when you see him is key. Unpack the Items: Later in the evening, SHOW HIM YOUR PURCHASES.

2) The "Non-Committed", "Single", or "Options Open" Couple (if indeed this is a couple?)

DESCRIPTION: These folks have it made. Whatever they call themselves, they are all over the place and loving it. They get to reap the full benefits of Valentine's Day. Keeping their options open, they clean up with lots of chocolates and cards on the big day. Sometimes flipping a coin to figure out WHO to spend Valentine's Day with. Ladies, expect the bouquets. Gents, expect that thoughtful gift from the Miss.

IF THIS IS YOU: I have to say, hooray for you. Date away, play the field, and get all the candy. Enjoy it while you can. It won't last forever...and please don't break any hearts on the big day. Make sure you keep your names of your special someones straight, and the gifts they gave you, as getting things mixed up could be a big buzz kill.

3) The "Sickening Sweet" or "Perfect Couple"

Yes, there are some of these perfect, movie love stories out there. I like to subcategorize them as the good and the ugly.

DESCRIPTION: a) The Good aka Totally believable. These are the Golden Anniversary Me-Maws and Pe-Paws. They've been through heck and back and are still together. Grammy has the scars to prove it. Gramps has the stories. It is amazing they survived all this time. All that love and dedication has brought them to this point.

IF THIS IS YOU: For this Valentine's Day I know you are certain to look at each other lovingly and snuggle for old time's sake. It is clear you still appreciate each other, and I hope we could all achieve such a great feat. It would be nice to give a special memento this Valentine's Day, something to remind them of one of the first dates.

DESCRIPTION: b) The Ugly aka Totally Unbelieveable. Those "young in love" touchy-feeling relationships that makes the rest of us want to puke. (This hurling feeling may indeed stem from the crazy pet names you hear them say like "Boo Boo Bear" and "Mr. Tibbs." ) What is that anyway? These are also the one name wonders, like when they morph into the name ZEN instead of going by Zach and Jen. Pullleaaassseee.

IF THIS IS YOU: C'mon people. You know who you are. It's a little too much. Not to mention your perfect relationship is part of your perfect world and your of course you have the perfect partner. For you , I say enjoy it while you can. I salute you, but believe me, under all that Perfect-ness I must inform you there lies a wee bit of imperfection. Like it or not. I hate to spoil your perfect party. I just hope you haven't set the bar too high as that will lead to your demise. You won't need my blessing this Valentine's Day, or advice for that matter, as I'm sure it will be perfect!

4) The "Love 'Em or Leave 'Em ON-AGAIN-OFF-AGAIN Valentines Couple"

DESCRIPTION: This couple is headed right for break up or has just broken up. This crazy duo fights constantly, but ends up back together no matter what. In fact, they have broken up and gotten back together so much, that they really don't know if they are together now or not. Every time they fight, the stories get worse. The relationship is heading to scary levels.

IF THIS IS YOU: Either the thrill of drama has you addicted, or you don't care enough about yourself to find someone better. It is obvious there are qualities and things you love about this person, but ADMIT IT. There are too many things that just don't click and won't no matter how hard you try. What you don't realize is the right person is out there, but you are too busy spending time with the wrong person to ever find them or let them find you. So you are missing out.

Do yourself a favor for Valentine's Day and skip the candy and card, MOVE ON. Cut the ties, and walk away. You aren't doing your partner or you any good staying in a relationship that isn't going anywhere. It's probably not a good idea to be friends at this point until some time passes. The best gift of all is giving yourself the ability to accept that this just isn't working out. Once you do that, you will be headed to one of the other three relationship types, and on your way to future happier Valentine's Days.