Keystone Cops' Commode Case

Scranton, PA - Imagine this, if you will, one fine day you are sitting in your apartment when suddenly the toilet overflows. It is a scenario that has afflicted many of us over the years and I would be foolish to assume that we simply said "darn" before mopping up the mess. The Scranton Police have recently charged a woman with disorderly conduct for cursing at her toilet near an open window. Police argue that she was using excessive profanity and responded to polite pleas from her neighbor, an off-duty police officer, with liberal usage of the bad word (that's right, THE bad word.) However, the accused in this case says that the police officer started right into profane language himself ("Shut the F--- up!").

The off-duty officer called the police who came and issued her a citation for disorderly conduct. She can face up to 90 days in jail if convicted.

The city stands behind its officers, however, stating that they made the right decision and that freedom of speech is not an "unfettered right."

I'm sorry, but I think we are getting a little too liberal with our interpretation of law enforcement responsibilities. I begrudgingly accept illegal wiretappings, but when we start charging people with disorderly conduct for cursing in their own homes, we have gone entirely too far. Also, I would like to point out, these charges were brought against Herb based upon the word of an off-duty police officer, whom she alleges was also using foul language. Why then, has this off-duty officer not received a citation as well?

The answer is simple, the Scranton Police Department has no interest in justice. It is interested in attempting to save face after two officers made a STUPID call. The national attention brought to the case will make face-saving a hard feat for Scranton (though it takes the spotlight off of the Luzerne County District Attorney who went about their Three Stooges routine while Hugo Selenski escaped from prison via a bedsheet rope). If Scranton had any sense of decency they would immediately drop the charges against Herb and begin investigating the conduct of the off-duty police officer involved in this case.

However, I highly doubt Scranton has any sense of decency. Instead, they will take on the ACLU, who is representing Herb, and most likely lose in a pitiful attempt to exact totalitarian authority over the residents of the coal scarred Pennsylvania city. The aftermath, I sincerely hope, will involve a massive lawsuit that will necessitate the firing of as many Scranton Police Officers as possible. Let the Pennsylvania State Police come in and do some actual police work until the SPD can be restructured, the present department just plain stinks.