Kickboxing for Personal Development

Since I lived alone, I thought it would be a good idea to learn to defend myself, so I went down to a dojo and asked to sign up for a Self Defense class. Since then, my mind and body have never been the same.

I had no idea what a Self Defense class entailed. I figured I would be shown some moves to deal with potential attacks and so on. But when I got to the dojo I realized that the Sensei conducting the registration was using the terms �â'¬Å"self defense�â'¬ï¿½ and kickboxing�â'¬ï¿½ interchangeably. I started to get worried. It then dawned on me that I was going to learn kickboxing (for self defense purposes as opposed to competition). Uh oh. What had I gotten myself into? I was no athlete. I didn't play sports in high school or university and I wasn't what you'd call the �â'¬Å"athletic type�â'¬ï¿½. I only went to the gym occasionally and the Tae Bo class I did twice a week was purely for vanity �â'¬" I didn't want to get fat. Kickboxing on the other hand sounded like a sport - a real sport requiring gears and training and discipline and commitment. It didn't sound like me.

Precisely for that reason, I made up my mind to jump right in, after all, this was the year I had said I was going to develop myself in all areas and if learning how to fight couldn't boost my body and confidence, I didn't know what would. So I bravely stepped into the room and stood in line next to everyone else �â'¬" about six others. I looked around the room and realized I was the only woman in the class, my heart sank. Two of the men wore ghis so I realized they were martial artists, but the others wore regular sweats. They looked ordinary enough �â'¬" no big bulging muscles, scowling faces or visible battle scars - so I figured I'd be ok; I wouldn't look too out of place. Sensei Timothy came into the room and we got started.

We skipped until I thought I'd pass out, ran shuttles, did 100 sit ups and stretched. Then the class began. Since it was my first day, luckily I got to work one on one with another Senei who taught me the basics of how to make a fist, punch and keep my guard up. I felt completely awkward and silly as I became aware of every movement of my seemingly unco-ordinated body. After punching and kicking the machine for about 15 minutes I was puffing like a train going uphill. As the hour drew to a close, I felt for sure my arms would go limp from exhaustion and I doubted if I'd ever be able to raise my leg more than two inches again because muscles I didn't even know I had were aching. Then we finished up with more abdominal exercises and push-ups (I managed all of about five). I was beat by the time we finally bowed to end the session. My arms trembled dangerously as I signed the attendance register. Whew! I was sweating like I had never sweated before. I felt like needed a gallon of water before I could make another move.

I crawled home, showered and collapsed in my bed and smiled. I felt so alive. I felt like I had used every inch of my body and as much as my muscles hurt, it felt great to know that I did what I thought I couldn't do. I had taken one baby step to a better me.

It took a few months before I could go through the whole class, without taking a break while doing the combinations or while running the warm-up laps or shuttles, but every week I saw myself making little steps forward. It's been nine months now since I started. Back then, I couldn't do more than five push-ups, but yesterday I did three sets of eight, correctly without pausing within the sets. When I started I couldn't run the ten laps �â'¬" I'd make about six or seven and have to walk the rest. Last week, I completed all without rest and without having to draw for my Ventolin inhaler. I couldn't fathom really hurting someone when I began, but lately I've been doing serious bodily harm to some vividly imagined attackers disguised as standing bags, because I havelearnt that I am worth defending.

I am still very much a beginner but every time I push my body a little bit further, it goes where I want it to and that is another invaluable lesson, for it's the mind that's fueling the movement. I signed up to learn how to defend myself from outside attacks, but learnt also that the greatest enemy is sometimes within - it is self-doubt. As I learn physical endurance I am also learning mental tenacity (on many exhausting days, that's the only thing that gets me to the dojo). As I am learning to focus my physical energy to do the most damage to a target, I am learning how to focus my mind to demolish those mental comfort zones that keep us trapped in bad habits.

Recently, I couldn't get to kickboxing class for three weeks because of a clash with work responsibilities and I felt off balance when I came home. I pulled out my skipping rope, gloves, towel and exercise mat and tried to replicate a class. It just wasn't the same. As I lay on the mat in a full body stretch an hour later, sweaty and tired, I reflected on one of the most important lessons I learnt at the dojo: being among people of like mind is just as important as individual effort to your development as an individual.

Instead of procrastinating, just get up and go. Do that one thing that you thought you couldn't do but always wanted to do and see yourself grow as you move through the boundaries you are currently imagining exist in your life. After all, no one was born knowing how to do everything and if someone else could learn so can you �â'¬" strip off the skin and we are all the same bundle of nerves, tissue, blood and bones. It's only the mind that determines what we do with that bundle of nerves, tissue, blood and bones. I have learnt that strengthening the body by pushing it beyond perceived limits, is an effective way to strengthen the mind, since the perceived limits of the body are built up and maintained in the mind.