Kids Moving Back Home: Another Effect of Recession

The average time line of life used to start with graduating school, either high school or college, finding a job, and striking out on your own. Due to the recent recession, though, many are finding their paths are taking an unexpected turn. According to the Pew Research Center, about 20 million people between the ages of 18 and 34 live at home with their parents. That represents about 30% of that age group. Twelve percent of this age group moved in with a roommate to help with expenses. Fifteen percent said they put off getting married because of the current situation of the economy. Fourteen percent are waiting before having a baby. How are people coping?

Bear in mind that each individual's circumstances are their own, and everyone copes differently. But all will agree that any change of circumstances will bring stress to some degree and a need to adapt.

Some find themselves in this situation pictured here in an article on msnbc.msn.com. Adult kids regress to when they were little kids living at home and refuse to clean their room or share any kind of responsibility. Or some adult kids, after living on their own for a while and developing a schedule that works for them, now find themselves under their parent's roof and living according to their schedule. Things have to be done when Mom and Dad want them done. Parents may revert back and start treating their grown kids like they were seven again. Or parents who got used to being alone, while they welcome their children back, may find adjusting to the extra noise and activity is harder than they thought.

Jane Adams, a social psychologist in Seattle, recommends that parents set some ground rules before the children come back home. She feels that kids need to learn the value of hard work, and that starting off on your own is a struggle and you may not have everything you want. She says that kids that complain about not being able to afford to live on their own often spend whatever they make on clothes and cars. Setting priorities is important. If the children were raised to listen to their parents and respect their views, this is good advice. I think it is also equally important for the kids to express their view at the same time. The last thing a person needs who suddenly finds themselves unable to care for themselves and have lost their independence is to be treated like they are seven years old again. Parents need to realize that they are not getting back the same person who left. They are, hopefully, getting back a young adult who has learned some sort of responsibility. Leaving room for them to make some decisions for themselves will help them, knowing that they still have some control over their situation.

A few years ago, when I was around twenty three, I found myself in this same situation. I had moved out on my own for the first time, got my own apartment, and really enjoyed my new freedom. I liked the fact that I could do the dishes when I wanted to, make my bed when I wanted to, eat dinner when I wanted to, and have friends over when I wanted to. But then my hours got cut at work, and I wouldn't be able to continue to pay the bills. So I made the decision to move back home. I have a great relationship with my parents, so moving back home was easy. They welcomed me with open arms. But I have to admit that adjusting to life with Mom and Dad again wasn't easy. I had to do everything by their schedule. Dinner was always at the same time. Grocery day and laundry day was written in stone. There were great advantages though. My parents didn't charge me rent, but they got a free cook, housekeeper and gardener. I love to cook, and cooking for more than one is easier. And I could tend to all my flowers that I had to leave behind. I worked nights and didn't come home until 3:00 in the morning so knowing that I was home safe at night was a big relief to my mom. She said she slept better after she heard me come home.

Most of all, I was thankful that I did have a place to come home to and that's what I thought of when I started to get annoyed. And I knew that this was only temporary. Thinking and dwelling on the positive aspects has helped me through difficult times. And I know it can help you!

http://pewsocialtrends.org

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/31275812/ns/health-kids_and_parenting/

http://hffo.cuna.org/19633/article/629/html