Kids Are Playing with Each Others Hearts like Toys

Dating Should Not Be Playing

Sarah Holmes
Many children today are playing with one anothers hearts and they don't know any other way. They are seeking fulfilling relationships only to get hurt. The media is not directing them in the right direction. So they are hurt again and again by the peers they trusted and loved. Then they seek to create a fulfilling lifetime marriage relationship only to be hurt again when it doesn't work out. How many people you know approach the wedding vows with the the thought, "well if this doesn't work in two or three years I will get a divorce"? However, this seems to be the direction our society is going. Are there any answers? Is there any other way?

Children want to be like us and there is a God shaped hole for another person in their heart. Adam had God as his sole companion and still God realized there was a need for someone else. Children want that too. Children also want a companion to hang out and play with. They seek someone who understands. When beginning a dating relationship, it is understood that either party can exit the agreement at any time and for any reason. This creates insecurity and lack of fulfillment within the relationship. The same fulfillment they are seeking they when they decide to date is the same quality that the relationship lacks.

As humans, they want the committment and companionship of another person in their life. Yet, often when children are pretending to be like grown-ups and playing dating the committment is not something children discuss. One of the children may wish to pursue the relationship as just friends while the other person is considering the other as a potential mate and someone they might marry. This misunderstanding creates a lot of hurt and mistrust.

Since children desire companionship, it might be wise that as adults we encourage our children to make friends with both girls and boys and various ages. A future spouse may not be their age. My spouse ended up being 6 years older than I was. I met him once when I was 14 and remember thinking of him as "old". Children tend to have a pretty narrow view. Many girls also do not fully understand what a male companion may be thinking. Perhaps it is time to share with your children a more realistic point of view?

Published by Sarah Holmes

Sarah is a weekly columnist for the News-Gazette. She enjoys writing about various topics including SEO, internet marketing, social networking and saving money on groceries.  View profile

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  • Ryan Stephens6/9/2007

    The divorce rate is ridiculous, but I don't know that there's a direct correlation to that and the way children handle relationships (other than seeing that divorce is okay). Young children are going to break each others' hearts inadvertently because they don't understand love and they don't know any better and I think that's rather inevitable.

  • Jamie K. Wilson6/7/2007

    My 10-year-old drew his girlfriend (from Kentucky -- we live in Hawaii right now) on his longest pillow so he could sleep with it. That was a little disconcerting! He got The Talk -- both relationship and basic sex. He was also introduced to the magical properties of Bleach.

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