Kid's Say the Darndest Things: Thoughts on Religion

You know, it's funny the way children will absorb what you say like a sponge and then kinda spit it back out alittle at a time. Religion has been a recent topic of discussion in my house, and I am amazed at my children's thorough although not quite conforming thoughts on the subject. It started just about a year ago, this topic of Religion and what it is. My husband and I having never considered ourselves particularly religious people, have randomly thought upon the idea of teaching our children a deeper understanding of the subject. Sure, we do the occasional compulsory church going routines. We struggle through the day long ordeals of Christmas and Easter. We make an appearance at funerals and weddings. We even attend the occasional baptism or christening of a friend's child. But religious devotion has never really been a mainstream factor of our daily routines. Partially due to the fact that we were raised in two different religions, he staunch Southern Baptist and I Roman Catholic, both of which did little to whet our appetites for zealousness. I guess you could say we kinda fell off the wagon on the way to church. Well as our children came to the "age of reasoning" we realized what a curious predicament we now found ourselves in.

Take for instance, my son, 8 at the time of this occurrence. We had been watching some history channel documentaries about various religious affiliations and ideas in the home. These shows had peeked in him a never before seen fervor for the understanding of the state of his future soul. He was adamant about attending church. Though we didn't discourage him, we were hardly about to get up at 6 am on a Sunday morning to get him ready to attend, I mean after all, we had both worked all week and wanted to sleep in. That's why they have services on Wednesday nights isn't it? Well , anyway. He had a very good friend who lived down the road who invited him to attend church. We saw no harm in this, the boy was a well behaved young man and felt that perhaps a professional was what our son needed to achieve his desired moral understanding.

My son returned home that night, in a state of righteousness never to for seen in our modest abode. He came charging through the door, slammed down his bible on the dining room table and exclaimed in a voice that could be heard for at least a mile that he was "going to be brainwashed in church tomorrow and there was nothing we could do to stop him."

Later on that month we had a terrible tragedy at home. Our beloved pet golden retriever Hunter passed on. He was rather old and we had expected it for some time, but explaining the concept of death was a subject we dreaded approaching. Our son put this all in perspective as he explained to his younger sister of 6 how Jesus had come to take our adored family pet to heaven to be with him. You could tell our daughter did not take this well as she angrily retorted "well you tell Jesus to go get his own dog and bring Hunter back here." She was not consoled for a while as she honestly believed Jesus had stolen our dog and was upset enough that she demanded we call the police immediately to go to Heaven and bring him back. It took a bit of explaining but we finally got her to understand somewhat about what had actually happened.

Perhaps we explained a little too well about death and the afterlife. A few short months later my husbands parents came for a visit. Our daughter saw them and with a serious look on her face she sat on Grandma's lap and told her she had to explain something to her. So she began, about how Jesus had taken our dog away with him. She went on to explain how when we got old we would die and go to heaven with Jesus. She then went on to explain that when she and Papaw died they would go to heaven to. She then went on to suggest that perhaps since they were so old that they must have been around when Jesus was on earth cause it was a really, really long time ago, that she felt sure he would invite them to come over very soon as they were almost as old as Hunter and Jesus didn't even meet Hunter when he was here. She was sure that they and Jesus must have been very good friends and asked if he ever came over to their house to play when he was little.

On another occasion, we were watching a movie, I don't recall which one, but it was rife with Catholic symbolism. As the main character entered the church, the scene flashed to a priest waving his censure before the alter. (for those of you who don't know, this is the little gold ball with all the smoke coming out of it which I'm sure many of you have seen on TV.) My son asked why he was doing this, and before I could answer, my daughter cleverly gave him the answer. "Because Jesus is going to be there and they don't want it to stink,." When asked why she thought the church would stink she replied " because Hunter's gonna be with him and we didn't give him a bath before Jesus came and got him so I know he will be stinky." Not batting an eyelash in syncism.

Well, the children have grown a few years since their first true encounter with religion, but I sometimes wonder at their understanding of the exact facts of the issue. Statements from them still highlight the fact that they have not quite got the hang of it yet. The quaint little custom of setting an extra plate for the Messiah at the dinner table right along my daughter's imaginary friend Lucy has gotten a bit nerve wracking, but I suppose I can indulge them. After all, if they still go to bed early for the Tooth Fairy and Santa Claus, why not so Jesus will come back too?