Kindergarten...Friend Or Foe?

It's official - my baby is growing up. It seems like just last week she had a head full of soft downy hair and a charming toothless grin. Surely it was only yesterday that she was learning to walk, learning to use a fork, learning to talk in sentences. I cried on her first day of preschool, watching her walk bravely into her classroom with her first backpack slung firmly over her little shoulder.

But now I have to face a reality that all parents of small children must eventually deal with. It should be enough that the baby I cuddled, the toddler that leaned on me, and the preschooler who considered me her best friend have morphed into a genuine little girl. A running, soccer playing, ballet dancing ball of fire. A girl with her own dreams and ideas. But now a new hurdle looms in the distance. A scary, troubling milestone. My lips tremble to form the word... Kindergarten.

The K word is a topic of conversation that is terrifying. Not for my daughter, who longs for days of riding the bus and reading big girl books, but for me. It begins my daughter's formal education. I will no longer be the most important influence in her life. I won't have control over what she learns, either from textbooks or from other kids. I won't be able to protect her from hurtful words and experiences. Soon kissing an injury won't be enough to make it better, and band-aids will cease to be a cure for all ills. The realities of the big, cold world that we live in will be inflicted upon my sweet daughter, and I will be helpless to change it. Next she'll be on the fast track to becoming a teenager.... which I shudder to think of.

My mind hurtles back to that first day of preschool, my daughter's brave little face as she headed into that room, the tears escaping from the corners of my eyes... and then I remember something. My precious daughter, then only three, ran back to me and kissed me goodbye. A little smile played across her face, as if she were amused by my tears. Then she turned an ran happily into her classroom. And I smiled.

I had mourned the loss of my toddler, but preschool turned out to be a great experience. She learned so much, made friends easily, and became the happy, adventurous girl that she is today. Perhaps Kindergarten will be the same. Maybe, instead of grieving for the loss of my baby, I should be celebrating the joys of girlhood. My daughter is certainly looking forward to it... perhaps I should too.

So maybe Kindergarten isn't the monster I've imagined. Perhaps it will be the beginning of a whole new era... a great one. I've decided to enjoy the experience. I think that I'll be able to rejoice in this milestone, and perhaps I'll even learn a thing or two. Now there's only one thing left that scares me...First Grade!