Kiss on the First Date: To Kiss or Not to Kiss

This may be your first date and your first kiss ever. Maybe you have been on a date before but it is your first date with this particular person. When contemplating all the aspects of the date ahead, your thoughts inevitably wander to the end of the date when you may have the opportunity for a first kiss. Don't worry you are in good company. All teenagers, and even adults, ask themselves this question, "Should I kiss on the first date?"

Deciding whether to romantically kiss another person is one of the first adult decisions you will be making for yourself in your life. Until now the most important decisions in your life did not require you to act alone or even act at all as your parents acted on your behalf. I would recommend talking to the people who give you guidance in your life about whether the first kiss is right for you.

However, when it comes to the exact moment of the first kiss you will be on your own and will need to make this decision without any of your emotional support systems, parents-siblings-friends-teachers, around in your immediate vicinity. So it is natural that you would want to think about it before hand.

Don't forget: this is first kiss is also one of the first adult decisions you will be making about your health too. According to the article "For kissingcouples only: 5 icky diseases you can catch on "first base" by Derek Clontz, kissing can spread diseases like herpes, gum disease, mouth ulcers, the common cold and mononucleosis.

Ultimately, a first kiss is a private matter between you and your date. Here is some information to help you make this first of many adult decisions in your life. Remember if you do decide to kiss and you don't feel comfortable it is your right to say "NO" and stop at any time.

You shouldn't kiss on the first date if:

1. You shouldn't kiss on the first date if you have bad breath: O.K so you go on a date to this great house party your friend is having while her parents are vacationing at their condo in Miami. There is alcohol at the party and you and your date decide to "get your drink on". Your having the best time and then you realize as the room starts to spin maybe too good of a time. You run to the bathroom and puke your guts out. If you can't sanitize your mouth after an episode like this....don't go in for the first kiss.

2. You shouldn't kiss on the first date if are "just not that into him/her": Kissing someone indicates interest. If you do not want a second date with this person then I would not even consider kissing them on the first date. You don't want to lead the other person on and then disappoint them if you are not interested in a second date. Feelings of disappointment, anger and jealousy are an inevitability of adolescence and the dating process. Sometimes it may make you feel powerful to manipulate these emotions in others, and sometimes others get satisfaction from emotionally manipulating you. This is not healthy. When you lead someone on by kissing them you are sending conflicting relationship signals that will cause disappointment, anger and jealousy for others and possibly yourself.

3. You shouldn't kiss on the first date if it's someone else's girlfriend or boyfriend: Sometimes kismet steps in and you end up on a date you didn't plan to go on. Destiny has you run into someone at the mall and you spend a fun day together. Fortune decides that your co-ed group outing to the movies becomes a date as everyone else cancels at the last minute leaving you and your friends' girlfriend alone together and you have an amazing time. An official date is not so much the planned event itself as it is the unplanned feelings (chemistry) that can happen when two people spend time together. If you find yourself in a situation similar to the ones I have described I would recommend not kissing on the first date. Kissing someone else's significant other is always a bad idea and will, for sure, lead to drama and emotional scars. Don't kiss anyone who isn't officially single.

4. You shouldn't kiss on the first date if you think your reputation will be damaged: Your reputation at school, with your circle of friends and with your family is important. These are factors to consider when you are deciding to kiss your date or not. It's the end of the date and time for the good night kiss if it is going to happen. Maybe you want a second date and you are feeling attracted to them and kissing feels right. BUT there is a little voice in your head saying, "Don't do it." Do you want to be known as the girl who kisses on the first date? Did your mother tell you that you should wait to kiss girls until you are 15 and you're only 13? Kissing may seem exciting, and it is, but waiting until the next date, the next guy or until next year is always an option for you to choose. You don't have to find out if this frog will turn into a prince right now. Trust me; there is a never ending supply of frogs with which you can experiment on later.

5. You shouldn't kiss on the first date if you are alone: On any date, safety is important (especially for girls). The physical location of the kissing should maybe factor into your decision whether to kiss or not. While I do not believe in the concept of "gateway" when it comes to drugs, kissing is without a doubt the "gateway" to sex. It is officially "first base" and directly leads to all the other sexual bases. Kissing and making-out is likely to get out of control if you are alone with your date: if you are in a parked car, your parents are at work, you are in a basement rec-room and parents are sleeping upstairs, ect. Safer kissing locations might be: outside or inside your parent's house when they are home and at the movies or some where you can see other people and have a better chance of staying in control of the situation should it get out of hand.

Kissing is a beautiful way to connect with special people in your life when you are ready. If you are not ready, kissing the wrong person at the wrong time can leave you depressed, confused and with damaged self-esteem; so take this decision seriously. Some teenagers are ready for their first kiss in middle school at thirteen and some are not ready for their first kiss until they are in high school or college. Sometimes you have your first kiss at twelve and you don't kiss anyone again until you are fifteen. Only you know what is right for you...and you can always change your mind and say "No".

If you are still undecided about your first kiss after reading this article you can do some writing of your own to help you figure this out. Simply write a list of "Pro's & Con's" and see what you come up with. If you have a lot more "Con's" than you thought, you might want to rethink your position, wait, and not go through with the first kiss this time. If you have a lot more "Pro's" than you thought then maybe you should calm down, go for it and see how you feel when it happens.

Good Luck and Good Kissing! If you enjoyed this dating article please treat yourself to my other fun and informative dating articles by clicking on my name "Tesl Goddess" at the top of this page.