Kissing 101

Can you actually learn to become a good kisser? Apparently Cherie Byrd -- psychotherapist and instructor at Seattle, Washington's Kissing School (www.kissingschool.com) thinks so. Cherie -- who has over 35 years of experience dealing with men, women and their kisses in addition to a lot of other Tantric ins and outs -- has been instructing couples (and singles) on the finer points of puckering up since 1998 and in the process has "graduated" well over 600 couples.

Now, I'd like to think I'm a good kisser: I've been kissing my wife (and vice-versa) for nearly a quarter-century and she's yet to turn the other cheek on me and that very thing is one of the points that Cherie teaches in her class. You know what I'm talking about: while leaning in towards your significant other -- and just as your momentum zeroes you in on your partner's lips -- she oh-so-casually turns her head and the next thing you know you're licking a cheek bone.

Fortunately, memories like that are pretty much the stuff of my fun-and-fancy-free youth, and it's just as well because Cherie is the first to tell her students that "...kissing is much more than just moving your mouth. Kissing should be a way two people connect with their souls, their hearts and their bodies..." Granted my wife doesn't have an orgasm every time I kiss her good-morning, but she doesn't yawn in my face either.

Kisses do not come cheap at the Kissing School. A typical session that lasts an entire day costs $335.00 for couples. Private sessions with a partner run $425.00, and just in case you want to enroll in the Kissing School but lack that certain someone to share a smooch with, don't worry. For the low, low price of $525.00, the Kissing School will provide a "surrogate" kissing partner to help you develop a pair of lips even Casanova would be envious of.

I can see where someone might wrinkle their nose at the tuition costs -- such that they are -- but I ask you, can you put a price tag on the price of a good kiss? One that will last a lifetime? I think not.

O-k, so maybe you don't live in Seattle, you have a big date coming up in a few days and you just can't wait to enroll in the Kissing School. Not to worry says Cherie; there are a few tips are in order to help you on your way:

1) Don't RUSH. According to an interview Cherie gave to the National Enquirer (www.nationalenquirer.com), men in particular are in too much of a rush and too impatient to really enjoy the moment because they are already thinking two steps ahead of themselves. Geez-oh-flip, if guys are in too much of a rush while they're kissing, I can just imagine how they do with everything that follows.

2) Relax. Not relaxing -- comments Cherie -- is almost as bad as rushing. No one wants to kiss a tight-lipped, rigid stenographer. (And if you do, I'll give you the phone number of my mother-in-law). But Cherie's advice is worth taking: kissing is and should be FUN! And you can't have fun if you're imitating a 2 x 4.

3) Become ON with your partner. Picture this: you are two halves of one whole...you both become one big pair of lips...one huge metaphysical mouth. Get my drift? If -- during your kiss -- you are into your partner as much as your partner is into you then by gosh you're both going to be loving and remembering every second of this most-simple-of-embraces.

4) Breathe Deeply. According to a press release on her website, Cherie feels that a lot of couples don't breathe while they are kissing. I am not an expert, but I'm thinking that breathing is important no matter what the activity. That doesn't mean you perform CPR on your partner, but sharing a breath does have its merits.

5) Express Yourself. I fully agree and that's why when my wife and I are in the middle of a crowded train station in downtown Naples and I kiss her, she moans like she's wetting her pants. (O-k not really, but that's what I want to think anyway)

6) Get into the Rhythm. I'm not sure how two people can NOT be in rhythm when they kiss, but if I'm kissing you and you're thinking about how much fun it would be to calk the kitchen windows, then we're definitely working against one another.

7) Make every kiss seem like the last kiss. The last time I kissed my wife like it was the last time I'd ever see her, we were squeezing grapefruit in the produce section of the local market. We subconsciously employed Steps 5 and 6, completely forgot about Step 4, ignored Step 1 altogether and the next thing I know I felt like I as lying down in the middle of a fruit cocktail.

But I digress.

Cherie really is on to something here with the Kissing School, but kissing just scratches the surface of all the great courses she offers. One thing is for certain: whether it's men and women coming to her place in Seattle or Cherie taking her course on the road, she's helping couples and singles get in touch with that all important spark that starts with a simple kiss.