Kissing 101

Many people think that one is either a good kisser or a bad kisser and that is that. It simply isn't true. Kissing, like everything else, can be learned. The good news is, part of that involves lots of practice.

The bad news is...well, there is no bad news. Kissing is easy and a whole lot of fun. You only have to do two things to become a great kisser. One, develop more than one technique. Two, remember that kissing is communication.

Let's explore the different techniques and what you may be signaling to your partner when you employ them.

Press both lips to your partner's and kiss very quickly. You are communicating casual affection. This is the sort of kiss you give to a friend-or to a lover to say, "I love you. Bye for now," if it's a quick kiss as you run out the door.

Press both lips to your partner's and kiss a bit more slowly. This increases the intensity. It says, "Hey, I really like you. I want to feel your lips a bit longer." If a quick goodbye peck becomes a kiss like this, it usually means, "I will be thinking about you all day."

Gently suck on your partner's upper or lower lip. This is the sort of kiss that says, "I enjoy being close to you. I like the way you feel."

Touch your partner's lips briefly with the tip of your tongue. This can say, "I am curious about you," or "I like the way you taste." It is an exploratory, questioning sort of kiss. It can be an invitation to take things further.

Slide your tongue into your partner's mouth. This is definitely a more intimate kind of kiss. If you do it gently, it is an invitation. Do it a bit more roughly, and you signal passion about to erupt. The latter can lead to hair-pulling, biting and strange noises, so be sure you're prepared for that.

These are the very basics of mouth-to-mouth kissing, but there are other types of kisses as well. For instance, once your tongue is inside your partner's mouth, what is it expected to do? You can quickly twine your tongue with your partner's, thereby extending it an invitation to dance. What results can be a very sexy, serpentine encounter inside your partner's mouth. It can be fast or slow. You decide.

But what will happen if your tongue darts over to your partner's tongue, touches it, and retreats? It is a playful sort of kiss that may invite your partner to be a little more exploratory or aggressive. It may be fun to try it and see what the response is.

You can also use your tongue to explore the inside of your partner's mouth. Slide it between the lip and teeth, explore the teeth, the tongue, the sides of the mouth. Surprise your partner with your tongue's willingness to explore.

A thrusting action with your tongue can signal you can't wait to make love. Again, beware of the possibility of hair-pulling and strange noises.

Remember, also, that the mouth is but one small part of the body. As much fun as it is, you should remember that any of these kisses can be placed anywhere. And I do mean anywhere.

Soft kisses and tongue-flicks on the backs of the knees are fun, as are kisses on the eyelids and the earlobes. And the fingers. Don't forget the fingers. How about the arch of the foot? There are people who get an immense amount of pleasure from having their feet kissed, and just as many people who get pleasure from kissing those feet. Some choose to do it with shoes off, some with shoes on.

This is by no means an exhaustive list of the many, many ways to kiss a partner. Try a few of these and see if you don't start getting comments like, "Ooh, that was nice," or even, "You are such a good kisser."

It's all about repertoire. And practice. Don't forget the practice.