Kitty and Your New Love: How to Integrate Your Significant Other and Your Cat

For years, it has been just your cat and you. A routine has been established and adhered to both of your personalities and quirks. You have had quasi- relationships and dates come and go but both of you knew that it would not be long-lasting or permanent.

After years of being on the dating circuit, you meet the love of your life. (after your cat, of course!) A campaign is initiated to merge households.

You are both so deliriously happy (as newly forever couples often are!) save for one little bitty problem. Not so much a problem per say, not a roadblock, just a curve really. A simple slow down ahead will get two lovey dovey people through it without nary a jostle.

Your cat, your wonderful, faithful, loves -you -unconditionally feline, hates your new love. What ever will become of this relationship now??? Before you start asking yourself about whether or not you made a mistake and all those times your new love was being nice to your cat was a just a ruse, and PANIC. (Do not end this relationship before the boxes are even unpacked!)

Relax with deep calming breaths. Look at the new situation from Kitty's point of view. Kitty was your reason for living (okay -that may be laying it on a bit thick, but Kitty was your reason for getting out of bed every morning- at least to her. Remember Kitty may love and adore you, but you are still staff to her.) She now has to SHARE your affections with someone else-- someone who will not go away and is always there.

Kitty received the majority of all companionship attention in your home (as all other relationships and dates were not the all consuming RIGHT ONE you are in at present and for the future).

Now Kitty has to share Momma. Kitty has to listen to you talk cuddly -wuddly talk to someone else, someone that is not Kitty. Kitty has to share the bed and the couch and your new love does not understand nor tolerates Kitty's need to eat on the kitchen table opposite you.

This new love receives more attention from you than Kitty does. This new love has the same rank in the home as you do, and where does Kitty fit in now?
Is it any grand surprise that Kitty exhibits her displeasure by urinating on your new love's leather jacket, haphazardly draped across Kitty's favorite sunning chair?

Or when Kitty shreds your new love's shirts left out on the just- made -bed which is where Kitty leaps onto your shoulder and curls along side your neck, as you get ready for your day?

Is it any wonder that Kitty begins to growl and hiss not cuddle and kiss whenever your new love is in the room?

All Kitty is doing is showing you she is stressed. Remember from a previous article I have written that cats are stress related creatures. When they are stressed, they can either become ill or act out inappropriately. Not out of spite, but as an external sign letting you know something is amiss in their perfect homebound world.

What to do? Rehoming Kitty is not even an option. Your new love will have to sway Kitty with love and understanding. A testament of affection and patience just between the two of them.

The rapid-fire way to any cat's heart is through food. Let your new love and Kitty's new roommate take over the feeding duties. This way Kitty will begin to associate good things with your new love. Have your new love remain in the room while Kitty dines. First just sitting across the room, and then slowly being on the same level with Kitty. (Sitting at the table while Kitty feasts on her kibble.)

Worry about your new love not being accepting of Kitty eating on the dining room table later.

Relationships are about compromise- remind your new love that allowances must be made and Kitty's eating habits are adaptable-just not currently.
Warn your new love that direct eye contact is best prohibited at this juncture in the relationship. (Yes, there is a relationship with Kitty in addition to yours!) Once Kitty shows signs of being more relaxed in your new love's presence then direct eye contact can occur-but no staring contests!!!

Kitty responds well to scent stimuli. Place a couple of your new love's shirts, or socks near where Kitty naps. (Because she sleeps with you!) Begin to wear one of your new love's shirts yourself in an attempt to meld the scent with your own.

Your new love should not be the initiator in this relationship. Let Kitty set the tone and the pace. When she is accepting of the new living arrangements and more at peace with your heart's choice, then she will meander up to your new love.

Encourage your new love to purchase a fishing pole toy and begin to play with Kitty from a distance, but still play.

Kitty will adjust. As long as you are happy, then so is Kitty. Remind your new love of that little fact.

You will soon be one entertained and secure family.