Know Your Gaming Group

Gamers game for different reasons. After participating in countless role playing games over the years, I have found that gamers can be broken down into two basic categories: the Socializers, and the Purists. Both groups enjoy what they do, but conflict can arise if different gaming philosophies exist within the same gaming group (as is so often the case). Here is some advice for recognizing, understanding, and dealing with the people who sit down at your gaming table.

The first group, whom I call the Socializers, comes to games in order to hang out with their friends - who just happen to be gamers. Rules, genres, and other specifics don't matter so much to these folks; as long as they are having a good time and visiting with their pals, they are basically content. Lots of new players fall into this category, at least temporarily - including significant others, who mostly come to the games to spend time with their partners.

The Purists come to games to game. They want to role-play. It wouldn't matter if none of their friends were gamers; they would simply find an existing gaming group to play with, or start one of their own. This type tends to have higher standards for their peers, deeper knowledge of game mechanics, and little patience for out-of-character chit-chat.

Is either group wrong? Not really. Gaming is about having fun, after all. The problems arise when you have both types in your gaming group - especially if one side feels outnumbered or overshadowed by the other.

It is important to identify this kind of conflict as soon as possible, before resentment, hard feelings, and drama set in. Pay attention to your players. If half of them are sitting there looking bored while the other half rambles on about the latest movie they've seen, you might want to have an intervention.

Talk to your players individually. Ask them what they feel to be an acceptable balance of role-playing and socializing. If most of your players lean toward socializing, then allow them plenty of time to catch up with each other before and after the game. You could start the game an hour earlier to allow for visitation, and organize social outings to movies or other events outside of the game. This way, you never have to feel bad about requiring folks to stay in character during the game - as is the DM's right.

If you find that your group is made up mostly of Purist types, you will need to find a way to shield them from the gabbers without spoiling everyone's fun. Try taking the Socializers in your group and applying the above tips for their sake. During the game, designate an out-of-character area or two (such as your patio, or a back room) for people who want to take a smoke break or just visit with each other. Be firm with this rule; everyone should know that when they return to the in-character room, they are expected to be in character.

It takes all kinds to make the world go 'round - even a fantasy world. So do a little research and find out if your players are happy with the status quo. If they are, then consider yourself fortunate and resume your deadly DM plotting. If there is room for improvement, then think of yourself as sort of a social min/maxer (minimum conflict, maximum fun) and put these tips to work for you!