Know Yourself, and Proceed from There

Prior to becoming a motivational speaker with public seminars and television appearances, Dr. Wayne Dyer had been authoring books-- his first, Your Erroneous Zones, was published in 1976. Far from being yet another to jump on the "pop-psych" bandwagon, Dyer states in plain, clear language the steps necessary for those who have had difficulty standing up for oneself and living one's own life to learn how to do so-- to know yourself, and proceed from there.

One of Dyer's best books, Pulling Your Own Strings, sets the foundation for recognizing, acknowledging, and breaking free of destructive patterns which hold many in negative forms of relating to others and to oneself. Instead of assaulting his readers with foolish jargon, Dyer relies on their sensibilities and basic concepts of common sense.

In the first chapter, "Declaring Yourself as a Non-victim," Dyer is direct and to the point about mistakes we make: "You are being victimized when you find yourself out of control of your life." He clarifies the numerous ways in which we fall into such patterns in all areas of our lives-- primarily interpersonal relationships. Analyzing your relationships-- or allowing others to do so; being caught up in the trap of believing you must "explain" yourself, your decisions, your actions; feeling that others must "understand" you, or that there is some vague "lack" on your part when they do not; allowing others to tread on your boundaries of personal space, privacy, and rights; these and more are common factors in relationships where others wish to have the upper-hand. Dyer makes it clear that one cannot overcome a problem without first recognizing it; only then is a solution possible. In "Operating from Strength," he maps out the solutions. Pulling Your Own Strings is definitely a "must read" for any person who feels that his or her life is not his or her own.

Your Erroneous Zones is a self-help classic. The chapter titles speak for themselves: "Taking Charge of Yourself," "You Don't Need Their Approval," "Breaking Free From the Past," "The Useless Emotions: Guilt and Worry," "Putting an End to Procrastination Now," "Declare Your Independence." Unlike many books in the self-help genre, Dr. Dyer's material does not advocate running roughshod over other people for the sake of 'Me,' nor discount the importance of relationships, but instead inspires his readers to seek more fulfilling forms of relationships and a more fulfilling life by gaining one's own personal strength. To be your best possible self, and one which you are happy and content with, paves the way for healthy relationships and interactions with others. Dr. Dyer shows that we can either determine the course of our own lives and the living thereof-- or we can submit to others making those choices for us.

In The Sky's the Limit, Dr. Dyer's focus is on helping his readers recognize their potential, and striving to achieve from their own and best capabilities. The theme of this book is the importance of defining oneself-- to trust yourself, your basic needs and instincts, and to cultivate your own personal sense of meaning and purpose in your life. He illustrates how many have, for one reason or another, set all of that aside, and what we can do to change for the better.

One of Dyer's lesser-known but equally important books, What Do You REALLY Want For Your Children?, sets the framework for providing one's children with a purposeful, meaningful life based on a personal sense of value, choices, and living life to its fullest through their own capabilities. Most parents would be in agreement with such concepts as "I Want My Children to Value Themselves," "I Want My Children to Celebrate Their Present Moments," "I Want My Children to Fulfill Their Higher Needs," etc., and this book maps out the process by which to teach them how to do it.

Dr. Dyer's books inform us that to know yourself and what you want from life is the primary factor in living a rewarding life-- to not let "others" define who you are, what you want, or what you "should" be or do.