Knowing when to Fall Back: A Tale of Communication Faux Pas, Annoying People and Borderline Stalkers

Internet Connection: $38. Cell phone plan with unlimited texting: $49.99. Knowing when to fall back: Priceless.

We live in a high-speed communication age of tweets and status updates, texts and instant messages, news feeds and e-mail blasts. Anyone without a Facebook page or an unlimited texting plan is socially rejected.

In the Olden Days, someone might send you a handwritten letter and wait weeks for a reply. Now, someone sends you a Facebook chat message the millisecond you sign onto Facebook. And when you don't answer that immediately, within a span of five minutes they've already left you a Facebook comment and sent two texts and a forwarded e-mail.

This isn't so bad when you like the people who are hitting you up. But what about the dreaded People You Don't Want To Talk To?

I've encountered entirely too many of these people in my line of work. As a music journalist who covers both national stars and up-and-coming local acts, it's basically a part of my job description that I'm inundated with people telling me how amazing they are, often in the most lengthy, disorganized method possible, augmented with a digital CD and links to roughly 18 Web sites.

There was, for example, the Overzealous Company that established a new live performance platform in my city. At least once a week, and usually more often, they'd blast out long-winded, puffed-up press releases about the company and its affiliates, along with a Facebook event invite, three text messages and a Facebook post that I was tagged in. That was on a quiet day.

I had to hide said company on Facebook because they literally posted seven status updates in a span of 10 minutes. I don't know who thought of this promotional strategy, but they should be fired.

Then there's the Long-Distance Acquaintance-Friend who contacts me virtually every time I log into Facebook. No word on how it's physically possible for him to be on every time I sign in, but he's there. And he always needs something from me. He needs to know what I'm doing, what I'm up to, and what's new.

I seldom answer. When I do, I mostly complain about guys. Yet he keeps hitting me up, over and over, relentlessly. You think he'd get the hint and, oh I don't know, maybe not hit me up so much. Or at least morph into a hot, rich guy I'd love to talk to.

Then there's the Wannabe Colleague-Buddy, who invited me on his radio show. I made the mistake of suggesting that I do a weekly segment on the show. Now I'm getting Facebook messages asking if I can book guests, emails instructing me to read artists bios and listen to music, more Facebook messages launching new ideas for the show that doesn't exist yet, text messages throughout the day with pressing queries such as "what's up?" and a Facebook chat strategy that should make my Long Distance Acquaintance-Friend scared.

It apparently hasn't occurred to this individual that since I ignore him more than half the time he hits me up, untag myself in about half the posts he tags me in, and recently asked him to remove me from his e-mail list of chores, he might want to fall back. Just the other night he called me twice back-to-back - because I didn't answer the first time, and clearly when someone doesn't answer once that means you should immediately call them again.

There was the artist who, when I casually requested a CD from his label, proceeded to hit me up relentlessly on Facebook with a barrage of links, videos, messages and more messages. He was confused and bewildered when I deleted him as a Facebook friend. A brief run-through of our messaging history should have provided him with all the explanation he needed.

And then there was the Incident With The Rapper. Said rapper made music that was both impressive in its honesty and disturbing in its content. I'm all for self-expression through music, but his penchant for songs about depression and suicide became decidedly more disconcerting when he came to my apartment unannounced.

I take the blame for giving him my address so he could send me a CD. But I never expected he'd use the address to take a 40-minute drive to my apartment to drop off a birthday card with money for my favorite charity in it.

Of course, that card was preceded by an array of texts and Facebook messages that I probably should have heeded. But I figured that my ignoring him would let him know he should take a breather. Not so much. So I sent him a strongly worded Facebook reprimand, removed him as a Facebook friend and contemplated the possibility of a restraining order. He seemed to get the message then.

Communication, passion and persistence are all good, vital things, but so is combining them in a way that respects the time, interest level and privacy of the people you're communicating to so passionately and persistently. Clearly, just because you can hit someone up doesn't always mean you should. Using discretion and taking hints is vital.

Most of us have probably had instances of being overzealous, but unlikely chronic violators who seem oblivious to all rules of social decorum, we've learned from our errors and figured out how to fine-tune our efforts. And we know that if we absolutely must stalk someone - because let's face it, there comes a time when stalking is simply a necessary part of life - gentle stalking is always the best option. ;)