Knowing and Understanding Self Identity and Self Image

At some point in your life, you will likely have self-identity issues. You will question who you are, what your purpose is in life, or what your strengths and weaknesses are. This is a perfectly normal part of human development; unfortunately, some people can see it as depression, which isn't the case. It's simply an as-yet-undefined self-image. It's important to have a well-defined self-image to ensure success in relationships and other areas of life. (Williams)
The concept of self-image is key to understanding our personal growth. Through life, our self-image is being shaped by everything and everyone you interact with. Usually, significant authority figures will shape us the most, providing feedback about who we are. Other relationships provide almost as much feedback.

There is question as to whether you're born with any self-image or whether it's all acquired. Most psychologists believe that all self-image is acquired, starting from infancy. The earliest emotional experiences, usually interactions with the mother, will form the basis of self-image development. This is why it's important for infants to have a loving mother figure, because the relationship is strongest between mother and child.

All successes, failures, compliments, insults, expectations and other people's relationships to you shape your psyche. Therefore, there is no such thing as a single self-image, but rather a many-faceted system of images and ideas. (Hermans)
Because self-identity isn't instinctive, but a social product developed through experience, it possesses boundless potential for development and self-actualisation. Individuals may perceive themselves in ways different from the ways others see them because of conflict in past experience and present views.

Self-concept has a generally stable quality that is defined by order and harmony. Everyone holds infinite perceptions regarding personal existence, and each perception is interconnected with all the others. This generally stable and organized quality of self-identity that gives consistency to the personality.
Self-identity requires consistency, stability, and tends to resist change. If self-identity changed easily, the person wouldn't have a consistent and dependable personality. The more central a particular belief is to one's self-identity, the more resistant to changing that belief and thereby that aspect of personality the person will be. If change is forced against the person's will, there will be emotional problems in future.

At the heart of self-identity is the "I," which is distinct from "me" in that the 'I' is the active part, the 'me' is passive. This allows the person to reflect on past events, look at present perceptions, and shape future experiences accordingly. In other words, the thought is 'When ___ happened to 'me', 'I' felt ____. In future, 'I' can ____.'

One of the best ways to get started along the path to self-discovery is to play a simple game of Twenty Questions with yourself.
Sit down with a blank piece of paper and write down the statement 'I am ____.' In the blank, write an adjective you think describes you. It can be anything, positive or negative, having to do with your personality, social upbringing, occupation or religion. Most people will find they identify themselves by the social interactions and ties. Others may find that they identify strongest by the ways people describe them.

Then, you can go through these and ask yourself 'Which are most central to my foundation as a person?' Knowing yourself is the key to understanding yourself and the implications of relationships with others.

Sources:

Hermans, H (1996) Voicing the Self : From Information Processing to Dialogical Exchange.

Walker, V. (2004) Becoming Aware.