Kristen Stewart Controversy Over 'Rape' Remark: Apology Coming Soon

One of the quotes that Kristen Stewart made in her interview in the July issue of Elle UK is already causing quite a commotion. The Twilight star complained about some of the pitfalls of fame, such as constantly being asked if she is dating her co-star, Robert Pattinson. It is this quote, however, that has rape crisis centers up in arms:

"What you don't see are the cameras shoved in my face and the bizarre intrusive questions being asked, or the people falling over themselves, screaming and taunting to get a reaction. The photos are so... I feel like I'm looking at someone being raped. A lot of the time I can't handle it. It's f***ed. I never expected that this would be my life."

FoxNews.com reports the response at rape crisis centers is decidedly negative:

Katherine Hull gave Fox News a statement on behalf of Rape and Incest National Network (R.A.I.N.N.): "Kristen Stewart's comments are regrettable. Portraying a rape survivor in the film 'Speak' should have led her to use a more appropriate metaphor to describe the intrusive nature of the paparazzi. Rape is more than an intrusion, it's a violent crime, that causes serious long term mental health effects for victims."

The executive director of RapeIs.org, Margaret Lazarus, weighed in, pointing out that: "Rape is a violation in which one has no choice. A star seeking publicity has choices. Although rape involves loss of privacy, loss of privacy does not constitute rape. Let's use a little logical thinking here."

Neil Irwin, Executive Director of the Men Can Stop Rape Organization, believes that there is some degree of comparison, but Kristen Stewart's problems with the press are miniscule: "Kristen Stewart equating her experience of the paparazzi with rape is like comparing a needle to a knife. While there is a connection - both involve a loss of control - we at Men Can Stop Rape know from hearing the stories of sexual assault survivors that the degree of hurt caused by rape is greater. Out of respect for these survivors, we would suggest using a more appropriate word, like 'violation.'"

Should Kristen apologize?

The fact of the matter is that the word "rape" has several shades of meaning, one of them being 'an outrageous violation', close to the very substitute that Neil Irwin suggested. I actually had to look up "rape merriam webster definition" to give you the dictionary link, because if you just type in the word 'rape' in google, the top entry is wikipedia which explains: "In criminal law, rape is an assault by a person involving sexual intercourse with another person without that person's consent. Outside of law, the term is often used interchangeably with sexual assault."

And therein lies Kristen Stewart's problem. The word 'rape' is no longer a word that you can use for a poem to describe someone being deprived of a lock of hair, as Alexander Pope did in his 1712 poem "The Rape of the Lock." The various meanings and nuances of the word are as good as gone and either Merriam Webster needs to update that to get in sync with the times, or someone should write a book explaining why every remark involving the word is not meant to make light of sexual assault or insult rape victims.

Before anyone thinks I am being insensitive, I would probably vote for doing away with using the word to mean "violation." I don't see how it poses any hardship for someone in Kristen Stewart's predicament to say it was like looking at a "violation" or even an "outrageous violation," rather than using the word rape. But I've known plenty of people who have used the word "rape" to describe a situation they felt was "an outrageous violation" that was not a sexual assault, myself included. (It was that time the lunch check was an outrageous violation).

The other possible solution is to stop using the word 'rape' interchangeably with sexual assault. But I can't see that happening. There is no denying, in any event, that it is an inflammatory word that people need to be thoroughly educated about, and not just pre-teens and teens, even adults.

To illustrate the last point, there was an advice column letter published in January 2007 written to "Dear Amy" where a woman who signed herself "Pregnant and Scared" described how she had cooperated in her own seduction by the hotel masseuse on her vacation in the Bahamas. Amy seemed to think it was nice that "Pregnant" was taking some responsibility for the episode, but Amy was convinced that a seduction of that sort wasn't a seduction at all -- it was coercion. She did not use the word "rape," but what is coerced sex? She thought the masseuse was a predator. Amy needed a little education on the nuances of the term seduction when the person being seduced is a rational adult on vacation in the Bahamas. I'd bet "Pregnant" gave the "predator" a big tip even if she left that part out of the letter.

All things considered, it will probably be in Kristen Stewart's best interest to clarify her meaning that she felt like she was "looking at a rape" and it would be very wise to publicly say the obvious: she meant no offense to anyone who has been a victim of sexual assault. Kristen Stewart is only 20 years old and shouldn't be saddled with the unfair burden of being perceived as insensitive to the horror of sexual assault.

It won't do any good to bring up the fact that in April 2010, actor Jon Voight went on Mike Huckabee's TV show and declared that Barack Obama was "raping" America. The rape crisis centers didn't come out en masse to take umbrage at the use of the term in that instance.

Update: On June 4, 2010, People spoke with Kristen and she expressed her remorse over the incident: "I really made an enormous mistake -- clearly and obviously," Ms. Stewart said. "And I'm really sorry about my choice of words. 'Violated' definitely would have been a better way of expressing the thought," she continued. "People thinking that I'm insensitive about this subject rips my guts out. I made a big mistake."

Guess it's time to email Merriam-Webster about that third definition.

Sources: Embedded