Ladies - How to Give Your Man a Gift - Know What He Wants, and Give Gracefully!

Without knowing your boyfriend personally, this is a bit of a cumbersome article to write! However, there are some things that I would like to share with you that will help you select and provide a near-perfect gift to your boyfriend no matter what things he may be into.

There are things that women do sometimes which send men the wrong signals. One of those things can be a simple, non-chalant gift that was meant with the best of intentions, but ended up as a disaster. No matter how sweetly you deliver a gift, there is always a bit of risk in the liking of it, and there are just some things that you should not give a guy.

Now granted, every man is different. What one man may appreciate, another may not. The art of gift giving is reliant upon the understanding of whom you are giving the gift to, what they like, want, or need...and why. If those things can't be found out ahead of time easily, then there are always unisex-safe gifts which can be substituted for specific ones to avoid buying a shot-in-the-dark present that may be accepted with a frown rather than a hug.

As a woman who is dating or with a guy, you should know to an extent what your guy likes and dislikes already. Finding out what he likes further is just a matter of paying close attention to details about his daily life and conduct.

Try not to get your boyfriend things that may remind him of unpleasant things from his past, people from his present that he may not like, or any fears of his future. Listening to the things that he says is a key element to successful gift-giving.

For example, if he is a fan of the Phoenix Suns, you probably shouldn't get him an L.A. Lakers shirt for his birthday. And if he is a fan of the Minnesota Vikings, you shouldn't get him a Green Bay Packers jersey, either! When in doubt, it is generally ok to ask other men (and women who know and follow sports) which teams conflict, which are "friendly" teams, etc. If in doubt and you really want to know, then by all means ask your boyfriend out of curiousity. It may even make him happy that you are interested in something common just for the moment even if it's not normally your thing, and he will tell you much that you can use and remember when it comes time to get him a gift based upon the things that he says to satisfy your curiousity.

Getting back to the subject of what not to get him - there are a few other things to avoid. Any insecurities your guy may have, you should more than likely steer clear from. For example, getting him his favorite cologne is a great idea usually. But getting him a 6-pack of soap may not be, since it sends more of the non-sensual message of "you stink!" rather than "mmm, you smell good with that fragrance on".

Under no circumstances should you ever get him things that remind him of an ex, or make him miss his ex-girlfriend, ex-wife, etc! That will only make him sad, and make him wonder why you did such a thing!

Getting a manly-man girly things is not a good idea, either. Now I know that there are plenty of fem-guys out there these days, and some women are into all of that. I see those people roam the malls constantly, and from a distance it is embarrassingly difficult to tell the difference between some of the men and the women. Many of the younger guys now dye their hair like their girlfriends, get facial waxes, wear women's clothing, put on earrings, and do other disturbing things that are beyond the scope of this article.

Be that as it may, if your man spends more time in the bathroom than you do, or looks more form-fitting in your clothes than you do...then...well, getting him that manicure set and pink shirt might not be such a bad idea afterall. But for most guys that are not metrosexual or anywhere near it, that just isn't a good idea usually. Also! If you have just begun dating and haven't been able to get to know eachother well yet, it is very important not to assume or jump to conclusions that the guy you are with is metrosexual or into that fashion just because he is nice about his demeanor or soft-spoken! Many women who meet a guy and assume this based on his presentation of himself draw conclusions that just aren't true, and they end up giving a gift for all the right reasons that offends the man or completely turns him off and away!

The best gifts to get a man are those which illuminate his passions. Things that you know he wants or needs which are normally outside of his budget's realm. They don't have to be expensive gifts...just meaningful ones. Whatever he's commented on the most that always bring a smile to his face when he talks about it is a winner. Even the most inexpensive things that he really, really likes but never finds the time to buy...those are ideal gifts to give him.

Avoid giving gifts that have an expiration date if you can help it. It can make anyone upset (man or woman) if they end up with a gift that expires before they ever have a chance to use it. Most gift cards have a long expiration date from the time they are purchased. You really can't go wrong with most gift cards to universal stores. The more places that one gift card can be used at a universal store, the better.

Remember to stay focused on getting him things that HE likes, rather than things that YOU like only! This should go without saying...but please avoid giving gift cards to places like Victoria's Secret, Bath and Bodyworks, etc. I knew a girl who actually gave her boyfriend one of these a couple months ago, and now she's back on the market. Go figure? She may have given the gift with the right intentions, but the woman was clueless as to what her man really wanted. I got a text message about 2 weeks later from her telling me that he took serious offense to her gift. He told her that he felt she was selfish for giving him a card to a place that only she would shop in. He felt that it would force him to use that card on things for her and nothing at all for himself. The end result was that she gave a gift to herself in the disguise of a gift to him. It was not a gift to him at all. The ordeal left him with such a bad taste in his mouth that he decided to seperate from her entirely.

So please don't buy your man things that would seem selfish or purposely suiting you more than him. Sometimes a guy will see this (and may know his woman did this unconsciously and forgive her for it). But if he doesn't, then he may quietly and privately take offense to it...thinking that it was done on purpose even when it wasn't. You may never get to hear about what you did wrong...but boy oh boy, the guy friends sure will!

There are times that stereotyping a guy or asking other men what guys like is not always a good idea. Sometimes this is because the source is unreliable or purposely corrupt (i.e: jealous guy who knows you want to give your boyfriend a gift and is waiting for his chance in line with you). Other times it is because the guy you are with is truly unique, and his wants and needs are not the same as a normal guy's would be.

Asking for facts about guy things from other guys is always a good strategy for a woman to learn and know more about men (specifically her man and what he likes)...but don't let the results or the advice that other men freely give be your deciding factor. You must make the official approach on what your man wants, and not anyone else. The ultimate decision for the gift is best decided upon by you alone, and by the sum of your perceptions and observations of him exclusively.

Guys really are different. We are not the same, and we like different things.

There are not one or two things that "any guy" will always like, no matter what the media tries to tell you. It just isn't so.

For example, as a male I enjoy just about anything technical and computer-oriented. But I am not really into football (even though I know a few things about it, it just isn't my cup of tea). I am not even into sports, really. Most guys are into sports of some kind, though. And most are into football, baseball, or basketball it seems. I do like other things, like robots and machines. I also like comic books. I like Knight Rider, too. But...I do not really like cars. And I don't like the direction that technology has taken with mainstream-computing! Getting me a tech gift is clearly a better idea than a sports-gift or one relative to cars...but if it's of a certain type of technology, I may not like it. You might talk to a few guys and make the mistake of buying me a football, a model-car kit (that I would never use), or a nascar jacket that I may only wear when you're around. And of course, I have received things like that before and been polite about accepting them. But honestly? Those gifts never saw much or any use from me. Most of those things ended up collecting dust and weren't really liked. In some rare cases, there were a few gifts that were returned to the store. I try not to return gifts, but a couple of them I found to be a bit distasteful and felt compelled to just get rid of them...

Be careful to avoid gifts with political or religious messages attached as much as possible. Unless you are 100% sure of your man's views and stance upon a particular situation or subject, try to avoid it. Sending the wrong message politically or religiously may not be apparent or even mentioned at first, but little things like that can simmer and cause problems later during heated arguements.

As mentioned above, it is ideal to always pay attention to what your man says he wants and needs, even if he never directs that toward you at any way. In the event that he never tells you what he wants or needs, then your best bet is always a gift card to a universal store, a gift card to a variety of stores, or a card with cash. This enables him to buy whatever he does like, want, and need without making you feel bad that he was offended by your kind gift (or feel bad for needing to return it!).

For future reference, try to go with him to the store when he picks out things that he likes. If you are with him when he uses his gift card or the cash in the envelope...then you will have a much better idea of what types of things he wants, needs, and likes best when he has that money to spend freely. It will tell you a lot, and give you additional hints on what you can get him next year when the time comes again.

And if he really likes you, he should do the same. :-)