Ladies, Are Your Ta-Tas Triggering Tremors?

It has long been said that female breasts are powerful weapons, especially in the wrong, ahem, hands. According to an Iranian clerk, the full scope of power our hooters harness extends even farther than previously realized. According to the Iranian prayer leader, our girls are now to blame for geological shake-ups. He claims that promiscuous, cleavage bearing babes are to blame for earthquakes.

A recent unofficial experiment conducted by a Facebook blogging college student in Indiana gained serious popularity throughout the online community. Jennifer McCreight invited women everywhere to celebrate their femininity by showcasing their cleavage on the same day in a combined effort to test the theory of a link between exposed knockers and earth rockers. Word got out and women all over answered the call on April 26th, the same day an earthquake rattled Taiwan. Coincidence? Maybe. But did anyone consider the unmentioned variables? Let's take a closer look.

As a woman and the proud owner of a matching set, I can attest to the fact that no two pair of boobs are identical. There may be an overgeneralization in the idea of linking breasts to seismic activity. For example, does size matter? Do A cups cause smaller quakes than D cups? What about composition? How do natural racks stack up against the surgically enhanced? Did anyone take into account that on-the-job jugs may get more exposure than the SAH (stay at home) sisters? And why was this experiment limited to women? Why aren't the moobs out there getting there fair shakes? We all know there are man boobs running around, we just don't like talking about it. Age can be an important factor in the sexual appeal of breasts. Perky versus saggy. Were women of all ages welcomed to participate? Perhaps someone should call the ACLU about this discrimination.

With those suggested variables, this writer finds it hard to make a plausible connection between female cleavage and rumbling ground. Although, the HAARP Project in Alaska may take interest in the issue. Boobs get a bad rap for everything from favoritism in the workplace and breastfeeding in public, to poor decisions made by men of power. What's next? Global Warming? I don't know...that amount of simultaneous cleavage exposure on April 26^th probably generated enough heat to speed the melting of the Polar Ice Caps. At least for one day.

On the positive side, breasts may play an unrecognized role in other areas of importance, such as farming. Will bigger boobs yield bigger bounties? Now there's an experiment. This year I'll wear a push-up bra when I plant my squash during a full moon phase. Should get a bumper crop if all goes as expected.