Laguna Beach: Why We Insist on Watching It

"Oh my god, I totally did not want her at my party. This is just so much drama."
"I don't care if he cheats on me. I totally love him, and forgive him for all the drama!"
"Dude, it's chill. Just lay off on the drama, okay?"

Drama, drama, drama. That word has exhausted its' existence and should legally be disposed of. If only that were possible. But seriously, that's about as deep as the show Laguna Beach gets. It follows around a select group of overly priviledged kids who have no idea what a day's work consists of, or what the rest of the world has to go through on a daily basis. For the kids of Laguna Beach, life revolves around which party to crash and how to ask a guy to the Sadie Hawkins dance. And the rest of America tunes in to watch!

I didn't really watch Season 1, but I became an avid follower of Season 2, and even though Season 3 just looked awful, I couldn't help but tune in anyway. The show was so bad that I just had to watch it. My main pet peeve with the show is that in every episode I kind of expect something to happen, but nothing ever really does. I'll watch Kristin and her best friend Alex get coffee and talk about how lame Kristin's on-and-off again boyfriend Steven is. Cut to the next scene where they're bikini shopping for their upcoming trip to Cabo, and Steven calls! Coincidence? No. Scripted? Absolutely. Basically I feel like we're following the girls around while they do errands all day. Thank god the show spares us trips to Kinko's and the grocery store, although we do get to hang around while the girls get massages and pedicures.

The other thing I really can't stand is that nothing is ever accomplished or achieved. I never get to experience resolution with the show, which really frustrates me. Every single episode of Season 2 showed Jessica being continually annoyed with her sorry-excuse-for-a-boyfriend Jason, who at the end of the show, was practically holding up a sign that said, "Jessica, I am cheating on you. A lot." I kept hoping for the final episode where Jessica would crack down and go, "We are so done, bye Jason," but it never came. Was that too much to ask for? Apparently.

The show totally skips through extensive time periods, so while episode 2 is focusing on Lo's Christmas party, episode 3 shows them at high school graduation. It's like, "Whoa, what just happened?" And I end up feeling more confused than anything else. I'm telling you, Cliff Notes needs to sell a Laguna Beach guide to help me understand the random changes, and basically, everything else on the show.

Certain things don't make sense on the show either, which further supports my point that almost everything is scripted. For instance, in Season 3 when Rocky's boyfriend breaks up with her at the beginning of the bonfire, then walks back to the group and asks other girls for their phone numbers right in front of Rocky, I'm thinking, "What normal people do this? Oh wait, the producers at MTV would."

One afternoon I had way too much time on my hands so I went to MTV at overdrive.com and watched special bonus features that had various cast members giving tours of their homes. I was interested in seeing what everyone's individual home looked like, but no, I got to see Kyndra's bedroom and how many pairs of jeans she has in her closet. Oh yeah, and her collection of shoes too. Fascinating! That's more useless information I'll never need again. It was like MTV cribs but for thirteen year old girls. No one else would be interested in watching that!

And everyone says the same things. "Bro, that's so weak!" "How erroneous!" (Cameron from Season 3 seemed to take credit for inventing that word). "Some of her outfit choices, I mean really, it's like, have you looked in the mirror lately?" (Wow, how insightful these kids are). Instead of giving these already rich kids BMWs to drive as MTV has done in the past, they should give each of them complimentary pocket dictionaries to carry around. That move alone just might make the show more interesting.