Lamentations of an Old Woman

I've become an old woman,
I know that it's true.
I've given up high heels
For a comfortable shoe.

I forego the makeup
And fancy, tight clothes,
And many perfumes make me
Wrinkle up my nose!

I can't eat what tastes good,
Heartburn will ensue.
I've a drawer full of Tums
And pink Pepto, too!

I now speak of the old days
Of when I was quite young,
When kids become mouthy
I must watch MY tongue!

Some nights I can't sleep
More than three hours or four,
My aches and my worries
Keep me pacing the floor.

Cell phones are a bother,
I get so confused,
When they ring all around me,
I'm no longer amused!

The remote for my television,
Has many buttons, too,
I must call my young grandson,
To learn what to do.

Thinking tires me out,
I must need a nap!
I can't take much more,
Or I'm sure I will snap!

And when I wake I will go
For daily Bingo at two,
Yes, I've become an old woman.
Save me a seat, next to you!