Lara Spencer & the Insider. Great Anchor, Bad Show but Compelling Hosting.

Bastion of all things tacky, lurid, overly-sensationalized, pointless, inane, repugnant and absurdly hilarious. The Insider TV program manages to make you feel dirty, cheap and voyeuristic to the max. Helping anchor this show is the actually quite lovely 'Lara Spencer' who should possibly feel ashamed of herself, selling us on this 'Barnum & Bailey' of the modern TV age.

It comes as quite a contrast to her hosting of the 'Antiques Road show' where her wholesomely appealing appearance and excellent delivery buoyed what was occasionally a very boorish show. You have to give her props though and admire the sheer professionalism of her presentation and delivery.

She has to keep her eye on the camera and teleprompter at all times and be sure not to run overtime (we're talking seconds here) deliver her lines with as much excitement as she can muster and do her best to sell us on the idea that we can't do without the tedious parade of dysfunctional Hollywood stories that this TV Paparazzi of a show wants to inflict on us. Indeed she even has a couple of hypnotic punch lines to cajole your fevered brain into sticking with the show 'Things you need to know' she says with a knowing wink and a smile & 'Don't go anywhere' which she says before the Ad's with a girlish pout. Don't make me feel guilty Lara. Along with this is the obligatory 'coming up next' - an expression usually used for the most interesting story which will undoubtedly show up in the last 30 seconds of the show.

Firstly, don't believe the neatly attired 'Lara Spencer' when she tells you (at a ¾ angle and at the top of her voice mind you) that anything to do with the Hollywood Entertainment Industry is really anything you'll really going to 'need to know?' She has obviously been well trained in the rather odd language that the Insider show uses. Could you imagine talking like this in real-life? You're life will almost certainly go on quite happily without knowing that somebody famous has had a car crash/heart-attack or has cheated on his/her wife/husband.

You need to know that Pat O'Brian who's embarrassing sex-tape scandal from a year or so back is probably the last person who should be commenting on the lamentable tales of sexual misconduct that proliferate the Entertainment Industry.

You need to know that there really isn't much difference between filming an article on the supposedly evil paparazzi when actually shooting them shooting other people is probably the most voyeuristic thing you can do. I mean if you watch someone else watch someone else drown it doesn't make you any less culpable. Here is a program trying to distant itself from the Paparazzi when in reality it could hardly do without them and actually perpetuates their existence.

You do not need to know that Celebrities make literally hundreds of times as much money as you do. You don't need to see their cribs. You don't need to see some 16 year old rap/rock-star who can barely form a sentence luxuriating in a manor-house with Grecian columns and a 2,000 sq. ft indoor Jacuzzi. You will survive, believe me.

You do not need to witness the incredibly aggravating sight of over-paid actors and actresses standing on Writer's picket lines showing their support. Really, what else are they going to do without anything substantial to say via the screenwriter's pen.

You do not need to feel sorry for celebrities when their multi-million dollar homes burn, collapse or slide majestically into the beautiful clear blue oceans running along the California coast. Do not cast a tear for those who cannot make their millions work for them and somehow become destitute after 20 years and many millions of dollars and end up as has-been B-Movie actors wasting TV space on reality (I never quite get what's real about it) television.

Oh but Lara be still my beating heart. Standing there in your green, blue, cream or otherwise perky outfit how you hypnotize me into watching well, at least the first 5 minutes of the show. Here's hoping that one day you'll find something with more substance to host.