Last-Minute White Elephant Gift Ideas for Christmas Parties

There is nothing better to get you in the holiday spirit, than a good ol fashioned white elephant gift exchange! Some of my best memories with friends stem from parties where the funniest of things get passed around and around. More than the presents, it's the memories and the laughter that make it all it should be. You want to add to that. It's a must, and I'm here to help! You see, there is a secret. A secret you must know in order to make the holiday exchange all it can possibly be. What's that, you ask?

Come close...

Closer...

Three words:

Good, Bad, Ugly

Remember those three little words and you're well on your way. Now, take a deep breath and just let loose. This is not rocket science. It's not something you need to put too much thought into, or it just takes away from the fun. And we don't want any scrooges at our White Elephant Gift Exchanges, now do we?!?!?!

Bah!

So, because it's the season of giving, allow me to share some of the best and funniest presents I've seen and heard of. I only pass along such sacred information so that you, in your mad dash to find just the right thing, will be able to have peace of mind that yes, what you're bringing will indeed work. You will not walk out the sore loser who make the event a lame one. No siree, not with my help!

The Good:

Every WEGE (white elephant gift exchange) must have the element of The Good gift. There has to be something that is to die for. Something that will just send the group into the holiday spirit of covetousness. This is important and mandatory. Trust me. Let me help:

Chocolate's *the good stuff like Sees or Godiva*

Warm furry socks

Picture Frame

Body Care

$10 gift card to anywhere

Champagne/Wine/Beer

Yes, these are the things that will get the greedy greedier.

The Bad:

Now to make the gift exchange balanced, it is required that there is also the element of The Bad. Bad meaning naughty. Unless there are kids. Or nuns. Or...well you get the picture. This will make the blushing begin. And it's hil-freaking-arious to see the ones that are actually dying to get their hands on those items. Again, I will happy to assist you in ideas:

Body Paint

Edible Underwear

Furry Handcuffs

Condoms

KY

Pregnancy Test (the dollar tree carries these!!!)

Or my favorite that we've received: an elephant thong for a man. It's an elephant...get it? Awful!

Uncomfortable? Ya, okay, let's move on then...

The Ugly:

What WEGE wouldn't be complete without the final element of The Ugly? We're talking, the item that nobody wants to take home with them. It's just that bad. It's the item that when visiting someone who had attended the WEGE we received it from, we would attempt to stash it in their house. This is always a fun after game. I can't tell you how many times this one god awful angel decoration went from house to house, and the hilarious places it was found. Anyway, moving on. I see you're in a rush and you need help:

A framed picture of your junior high school picture. (we all have an awkward one of those!)

A fiber optic...well anything. They're all awful!

Hideous Christmas ornaments/decorations

An item of clothing or jewelry from a thrift store.

A bag of your junk mail

Old CD's: such as Milli Vanilli, Bel Biv Devo, Journey. You get the picture.

Concert T's

Stinky Cheap Cologne/Perfume

My favorite: Britney Spear's first autographed book. Classic.

Ready to Wrap and Run:

So, you see. It's not too tough. But, there is one last thing. Wrapping and presentation is everything. You want to be tricky. Mix it up. Wrap it cute. Or, put it in a box you have lying around from Tiffany's. (you do have one of those, right???) Or, put it in a trash bag with tape all around it. You can put something small in a big box.... Catching on? Try to throw them off. Be creative.

Now shoo, you have little time, and there are memories to be made. You can thank me later. Just send me the yummy chocolates you walk home with!