Last Name Limbo

You're taking the plunge, tying the knot, gettin' hitched. Everyone's asking, "what will your new name be?" It's traditional for the woman to change her name after the wedding. Some simply take their husband's last name and relinquish the one they were born with, some change their maiden name to their middle name and take their husband's last name, some use both with a hyphen between. It all sounds so easy, you get married and the forces of nature just know to change your name everywhere it appears, right?? Wrong. It actually takes a bit of work, a little green, and the patience of a nun. Oh, and it will take a while, too. But, follow these guidelines and you should be well on your way to becoming the new you!

Before the wedding:

• Make a list of EVERYTHING that will need to be changed over eventually. Then break it down by importance, what needs to be changed first and what can wait? Here are some you'll need to change in short order:

• Social Security Card

• License

• Bank accounts / names on checkbook

• Credit card companies

• Employer

• Mortgage

• Passport

• U.S. Post Office (can be combined with change of address if moving)

• Doctor, dentist

• Health, life, auto, and home insurance policies

• Utility companies (phone, cable, gas, electric, etc.)

• Will (change the beneficiary to your spouse at the same time)

• Membership, discount, courtesy, and frequent-flyer cards

• Voter registration (can wait until next time you vote)

• DON'T try to change anything major. When you go on your honeymoon, you'll need your passport, license, credit cards, and social security card to all match. Besides, you need to prove you're married to change any of those. So keep your maiden name on all the honeymoon reservations. Yeah, it's a downer, but better than not being allowed back in the country! You won't have time to change your name between the wedding ceremony and the honeymoon.

• DO start changing minor things to help others (and yourself) get used to your new name. Social sites can be changed easily, add a signature to personal and work emails letting recipients know of the impending change: Carol McCarthy - (Soon to be Corbett) works well enough. Tell your employer so they can prepare to print up new business cards, placards or re-route mail. You can also start changing some minor things, like your Netflix account or gym membership. Also, practice signing your new name!

After the wedding:

If you can, take a day off and try to do all these things at once...there's a lot of waiting in line and you'll need to go during normal business hours. Adding a day to your honeymoon time off would do the trick.

• Take a trip to your lovely town clerk's office. You probably visited before to pick up a marriage license, now you'll be picking up an official copy of your marriage certificate. In some instances you may get one after your ceremony, but most likely the fancy, scroll-worked copy you received is not an official document. Cost for your certificate is $12 and you can find your local NH clerk's office at www.sos.nh.gov/clerks.htm. Additional copies can be had for $8, but you shouldn't need more than one as long as you keep tabs on it.

• Next stop, the social security office. Take your fancy, shmancy marriage certificate to Concord, Keene, Littleton, Manchester, Nashua, or Portsmouth (find full addresses at www.ssa.gov/boston/NH.htm). Take a number in the office (after you've been through the metal detector) and fill out the SS-5, Social Security Number Application (works to change information too) form while you wait. Or, better yet, download the form online from the site above and bring it in all filled out. You'll still have to wait, no cell phones, so bring something to read. Once you've talked with the clerk and gotten things settled, you'll get a receipt showing application and you look forward to seeing your new card in about two weeks!

• Stop in to the closest DMV (check www.nh.gov for locations and licensing times) with your marriage certificate and Social Security receipt. Fill in the DSMV 450 form while you wait, or download it from the above site and read some more of that good book while you wait. At the DMV, you'll kill off your old persona and be re-born as a whole new person. Yes, they'll take your picture again, so look your best. New in May, 2008, you'll get a black and white, peel and fold, very fake looking temporary license while you wait 60 days for the real plastic one to come in the mail. If you're going to be needing your license for identification purposes, carry a second one, like the passport that doesn't match, and a copy of that marriage certificate so you can really confuse people.

• On your way home, stop in to your bank to change the name on your accounts and order new checks. Ask for a customer service person and read your book again while you wait for one to help you. You'll need that handy-dandy marriage certificate again, but this may be the shortest stop of all.

• If you're not completely pooped by the time you finally get home, call your credit card and mortgage companies and go through their automated rigmarole until you get a real, live person to help you. You can prepare the necessary documents to fax from work the next day.

The next day at work, fax those files in. Then go see human resources and change the name they print on your checks. Change your email signature over to say Carol Corbett - (formerly McCarthy) and start using your new name!

Just about everything else can wait. Change things as they come up to make your life easier. Next time you have a doctor's appointment tell them while you wait. When it comes time to renew your car's registration or insurance, let them know you've changed your name. You can notify the post office when you go in to update your passport or post a change of address if you've moved during this process. The utility companies really don't care who pays your bills, so change that when you feel like it, or when you have to call to report the power's out or the cable's fuzzy, again. Otherwise, enjoy your new identity, new husband, and new life!