Late Night T.V.

The new king of late night T.V is not necessarily the one you might think.

Variety is okay, diversity sucks, but with the slew of late night talk shows one is bound to find something they enjoy; a snappy monologue, the personality of a party favor, respectable one on ones, even an idiotic foreigner. I like the navy blue ghost.

Hands down, Jay Leno gives the best monologue. Not everything he says is funny, but some of it sure the hell is. Plus, his timing is good, and he's irritable but not to an annoying point, I think, like some of the other hosts that shall remain nameless. Ultimately, he's just a funny guy; the black stripe speaks for itself.

Conan the Barbarian has the best personality. This guy is absolutely bonkers, gonzo, off the wall insane, but he let's you know that he knows, in which case it's all okay and absolutely hilarious. Sometimes he gets out of control though, and he goes over the edge. It's still funny, but I wonder to myself if they are actually broadcasting this thing for a grown up audience. Leno at least keeps some degree of order. No offense sno cone, you, me, and the rest of the balloney tunes stare at the wall for fun.

Letterman gives the best interview. Dave is a classy New York gentleman. I wish I could say the same for some of his guests. If they all had the integrity that he exhibits during his line of questioning and answer, some of those stars actually may reveal that they have a normal personality. I don't know why they don't trust him, probably because he is the consummate professional forcing to be silly. Why? Because he has to compete with Leno, rather than just be the uptight chivalrous gentleman that all woman adore.

Craig Ferguson is an idiotic foreigner, but I don't mean that in a bad way. I mean it like he sometimes tells us what absolute morons we are. He should do more of it. Americans need to hear how weird we are. We don't necessarily like to hear it, but Craig should tell us anyway. Lots of people appreciate it and may pick him over Conan in the long run because again, he is a gentleman, a gentleman who acts like an idiot. Great stuff!

Who do you watch? Do you watch? Cable is so popular these days. These are the guys on network television late at night. They're your philanderers. They're your womanizers. They're your joke pot crack heads, and they're the guys who must put the children to sleep before winding down for the day. I cannot stay with any one of them. I am always switching back and forth, depending on who is the guest, maybe somebody's on a roll. Even the guy who I think is best doesn't necessarily rock my boat.

The best guy on late night T.V is Jimmy Kimmel. He doesn't do anything really that great, but a lot of things not even real well; just kind of average. He seems like an average guy. The navy blue suit, over and over and over again. The white undershirt, over and over and over again. It's almost like he's trying to be consistently boring, but he's actually got a really great personality. His jokes aren't the funniest, but his timing isn't bad, and he's got control over what's happening. Plus, he's got the best set.

If one starts looking beyond the guy though however and into the mis-en-scene, or ambience created by the production, the New York bands have got it made. I'm an L.A guy, but Max Weinberg and his 7 jam, Paul Schaeffer and the CBS Orchestra always seem to find that eclectic tone. The show isn't Conan O'Brien and the Max Weinberg 7 though. The show isn't David Letterman and the CBS Orchestra. The man in the show of the night is Jimmy Kimmel, without or without the set.

But when is the first lady going to show up? What kind of chick would she be? Could she handle it, take it seriously, crack jokes, be a mom, an educator, the divine diva? These guys aren't that great.

It's a tough job though. It's late night T.V for God's sakes. Whether your clownin' with Jay, rolling on the floor with Conan, talking to Dave, or in Craig's trousers, ladies have a lot of options. The fellas are on Jimmy's dime. Could some female please show up on T.V and put me to bed? My sac just isn't the same without you.