Law of Attraction, How Does that Work?

"I saw her/him and It was love at first sight, the world stood still". This is how some people describe their first encounter with the love of their life. It has had my interest for decades, since I've been married to the same guy for ages and it happened to me as well, all those eons ago. When I first saw my future husband I picked him out of a large crowd. And I just knew I was going to spend the rest of my life with him. So how do you know this? Why didn't I have any of those feelings for the other thousands of people who were there as well?

Scientists have been trying to solve this secret, but can't seem to unravel this at all. But, in a wholly unscientific way, I'll try.

They say that opposites attract. So when you have been looking in the mirror every morning for 25 years and you see blond hair and blue eyes, perhaps you like to see dark hair and darker eyes looking at you for the next couple of decades. If you are a large person, perhaps you'll go for a smaller other half. If you are fastidious, you might go for a messy person, and if you're good at cooking your efforts will be appreciated by someone who can't cook water. Someone who is very down-to earth might want an artistic mate, and someone who is good at spending money will be looking for someone who is good at earning it. If you are a shy person, you might want an outgoing partner.

The mirror-gazing starts young. So by the time we reach puberty we have been looking at our physical selves for about 12 years. And are used to what we see every morning. Could it be that the brains get a bit bored of registering the same old? So, suppose that you are tall, brown haired and blue-eyed the brains unconsciously "want" something different?

Then there are our habits. If you like a tidy environment and are forever looking for someone to tidy up after, your brains might unconsciously tell you that you'll need an untidy person to look after. After all, two tidy people sharing the same house might well lead to frustrations; there is no need to tidy up.So the brain adds on another bit: a partner needs to be the opposite of ourselves, in some of our habits.. We want to be needed after all, and if the other has the same habits, that need is not going to be fulfilled.

Social backgrounds are important as well. And here similarities are a good thing. If you go to the same church, or tennis club, or have the same hobbies in general, that would be considered a good thing. Also, there shouldn't be a large gap between financial backgrounds. If you come from a very wealthy family you've dealt with completely different problems than someone who has been poor his/her whole life. It might not be impossible to have a good relationship with someone who has a different background, but it could prove to be difficult. So, perhaps we feel more comfortable with someone like ourselves in this area.

Are our brains collecting "data" bit by bit from when we were young? To be put together in a flash when we meet the partner we sub-consciously always wanted?
On the physical side yes, I do think so. That moment when time stops and you see the person you are certain you want to meet further, the brain has already made the selection for you. Now you still have to do some work yourself. Because, although he could well look like the prince of your dreams, he could also smell like a skunk. Or have an awful voice, smoke cigars in bed,is a slob,and lives in a tent in the local park.

So, this is why we date. To see if our own brains were right in "selecting" this person and to find out if the rest is suitable as well.