Learning Inline Skating

It was summer. At age 75, some folks might think it's a little late to learn inline skating. But, I had seen people gliding so easily on these that I thought I might be able to learn. But I wanted to be safe in trying to do this.

I thought I could control my movements by using the suction provided by bathroom plungers. These were being sold with extra long handles at Sam's Club. I bought two. I also bought a pair of inline skates, knee pads and elbow pads. I had a helmet from my motorcycling days and a heavy leather jacket. A pair of work gloves completed my safety attire.

With my wife, Ann, looking on with some degree of amusement, I put on the coat and the other paraphernalia I had purchased and walked outdoors with the skates on my feet, carrying a plunger under each arm. Carefully, I positioned myself where the walk began. Ann was there to provide assistance and/or to call for an ambulance if it were needed.

Sadly, I found that the plungers did not work exactly as I had hoped. They provided no help at all in controlling movement because the walk's surface was too porous. Despite my pressing down as hard as I could, the plungers provided no suction whatever. The experiment to learn inline skating ended at that moment.

Ann and I sat on the doorstep in deep silence. Then, as if on cue, she and I began to laugh. As soon as I could utter some sounds that made sense, I admitted that this had been a trial that had not gone well.

But I wasn't dismayed. I was reminded of a statement that Thomas Edison had once made when he was testing different materials to use as a filament for the light bulb. Each material that had not proved out had not represented a failure; it had taught him what were the materials that would not work. It had been like that with me. I had tried to find a way to learn inline skating. My experiment had not been a failure. It had taught me one way that would not work. I never tried to find another.