Learning and Loving a New Baby

A lot of new parents feel like pulling their hair out when a new baby arrives. With all the crying, screaming, feeding around the clock, sleepless nights and shower-less days, you may feel like you are living in a parental underworld. You might even take a while to feel like the baby is your own. These feelings are probably compounded if you have older babies or children. Remember that just like any other new relationship, you have to learn your baby and he/she has to learn you.

When my daughter was born, I was so used to only living with my husband and son that having her made me feel like I was in the Twilight zone.

Some tips I recommend to other parents are:
1) If the baby has much older siblings, let them help out by warming up a bottle, going downstairs to get the diapering supplies, and other small tasks-every little bit counts.

2) Get baby-duty relief from your partner, especially if you're home with the baby 24/7.

3) Don't decline help when it's offered. If your aunt asks what she can do, ask her to wash the dishes on Mondays or bake a casserole.

4) Get out of the house when the doctor gives you the OK to walk. Even sitting on the patio can bring your spirits up. Taking the baby out in nice weather is good, but it's even better when the baby is asleep.

5) Freeze meals by making a few extra servings every time you cook. This is always a lifesaver.

6) Sometimes, babies need a different environment. I found that when I took my colicky, fussy baby to Grandma's for a few hours, she calmed down and slept better at night.

7) If you get too frustrated with the crying after all else fails, it's better to put the baby in the crib go into another room to cool down. Never take out frustration on the baby.

8) Ask your doctor about feeding chamomile tea to the baby (as they get a little older). It worked wonders for my baby and others I know of. I only gave her 1.5 ounce, cooled in a bottle.

9)After you're comfortable, let a trusted person baby sit. Go see a movie, get dinner, go see a play. Do SOMETHING.

10)Show the baby love and affection. Sometimes, that's all they need when they cry.

11) Remember that as hard as it is, this stage won't last forever. Sometime within the next year, you'll probably be worrying about something else, like why your toddler won't eat his or her veggies or fruit.

You may feel guilty about not having warm, cuddly feelings like you expected when baby was still in the belly. You may keep your feelings inside, and not share them with your partner and/or doctor. This is always a mistake. Always talk to somebody.